Not without my coffee...

Where are you going?

2010-08-06T14:30:00.003-05:00

It's been almost a year since I've updated this blog...

I guess I just wasn't feeling it anymore. I wanted to find myself and figure out just what kind of writer I wanted to be. Really understand what God wanted me to do with my passion for words.

I think I found it. So I hope you stay tuned for my new site with my own domain! It's still in the works but I have so many ideas I can't contain them in my brain or my notepad. This is a big change because for awhile I was like the desert in which I live, a dry, unforgiving gulch. I couldn't pick my self up and be the leader, I wasn't even being a follower. I was just standing still waiting. Waiting for what? I don't know but I thought I would figure it out by myself and I was so wrong.

I'm done standing on the sidelines playing with the bench warmers. Put me in coach, I'm ready to play.

It's Not Easy Being Green...but it's worth it.

2009-10-15T12:55:00.009-05:00

I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t want to be greener—including myself. No one wants to be wasteful and I don’t think you’ll hear too many people say they just don’t care. I imagine it’s more along the lines of they just think it’s all too much.

If they can’t take little Moonbeam Starchild to soccer practice in their solar powered car that’s made out of all organic materials and watch the game sitting in organic hemp chairs while eating fresh produce grown in their backyard using compost they’ve collected themselves and carried in fair-trade cotton sacks then why bother, right?

There are hundreds of reasons climate control is a major issue here are a few that may get you on the green bandwagon. I know, no more good wine or avocados? That's reason enough to drive a Prius right there! (Those of you who didn't click on the 'here' above are probably pretty curious to do so now..)

I personally would love to be wading in the deeper end of the green pool. Right now I would shade myself somewhere between that of a of pear and an olive, subjectively speaking of course. On a day to day basis I don’t really feel like I’m doing a lot however, since moving out of the mid-west and into the west I’ve found myself putting forth way more effort for my family to do their part in the environmental battle.

Maybe because folks seem to care more about water conservation here—or it could be that we live in the desert and don’t have a choice… There is also a larger recycling program here, which has caused me to think a little harder about what I throw into the garbage can. With today being Blog Action Day and their focus being on climate control I thought I’d list a few of the ways my family is starting to take action…

A few months ago I started using a more Eco-friendly laundry detergent. Jenny’s Simply Clean is a petroleum free gentle cleaner that breaks down better than most store bought laundry soaps and can be scented into over 15 different fragrances! That's better then Tide any day.

I also stopped using dryer sheets and made my own scented dryer balls from wool yarn. JSC has dryer balls you can buy as well if you don’t feel crafty enough to make your own--but it's not hard. Also, instead of expensive fabric softeners I started using white vinegar to soften the clothes. Come to think of it, vinegar has so many uses I could write a whole post on just my love for it.

I have been using reusable grocery bags for the majority of my shopping trips and shopping late at night when there are few people in the stores, I’m not really sure how that helps but it helps my sanity and that has to be good for the environment….

I cook more at home and use the leftovers to make a variety of meals to avoid waste. I look for products that have less packaging to throw away or packages I can at least reuse once.
I just recently took a dress that had a broken zipper and cut it up to make my own fabric memo board complete with a pocket for notepaper…I felt very B. Smith like.

Our family loves to take picnic dinners to the park and instead of using paper products we have plastic plates, cups and real silverware that we just wash and reuse; we even have cloth napkins. The kids find it to be quite sophisticated as a matter of fact…

I’ve recently become aware of the fair-trade practice of such products as coffee, tea and Shea butter and wind powered websites. I am trying to make a conscious effort to use more products from people and companies who care about our world.

Most of the time I feel like so many others who are overwhelmed with all the facts and studies, the charts and diagrams on how the earth is changing and how we won’t have a lot of the renewable resources we take for granted right now. I think all this little stuff that I do won't really matter.

It Does. It Really Does !!!

I know that not only am I keeping cans out of the landfills, I’m also instilling the pride of earth-ownership in my children. They’re more aware and less wasteful than I was as a child. They know that recycling is a necessity not an option.

Yes, I do drive an SUV and use central air conditioning 10 months out of the year and will probably never be quite as crunchy as a lot of the west coast mamas I’ve run across, nevertheless, I feel that if I keep moving in the right direction adding my many small contributions to the cause, I will still be a part of the solution.

What are you doing?

New Stuff

2009-10-15T02:29:00.005-05:00

I'm starting a new series on Blissfullydomestic.com talking about how we as women can get that spice back in our marriage. Focusing on the everyday issues we all face but sometimes feel totally alone in. Every Wednesday I will suggest some new ways, fresh ideas maybe even some old tricks of the trade to get a stagnant relationship out of the harbour...

Here is the first column...enjoy.

How much for that doggy on the blog...?

2009-07-17T18:38:00.003-05:00

I don't normally do this here, but I have a really good friend who is selling some pretty cute dogs!

They are $800 - $1,500 ~ willing to trade and barter (we need flooring, painting and landscaping) ~ call to discuss.

Fully papered, champion bloodline ~ 11 weeks old, fat happy and ready for a good home!

Up to date on shots and de-wormed.

Two males left, both are great looking dogs and if you are interested please leave a comment with a valid email address or phone number and I will have someone get a hold of you ASAP. You must be local to Las Vegas or willing to travel here for pick-up and payment...

I sure hope these cute puppies find a great home soon.

Thanks...

Tal and Acacia - Clear View

2009-07-12T00:57:00.001-05:00

I have seriously fallin' in LOVE with this song. Seriously.

So, of course I had to google them or as I've recently started doing "swagbucking" --i'm sure that's so not a word, yet. I stress the word yet. Anyhoo, I found their website and read all the blog posts on said website and now I'm even more in love with them. I, seriously am crushing on Tal and Acacia...

August 29, 1958 to June 25, 2009

2009-06-25T23:26:00.011-05:00

There are a few people I hope to one day meet and have in-depth conversations with. Jada Pinkett Smith, Jill Scott, Barrack Obama, Prince and Ann Curry are just the ones off the top of my head.

Michael Jackson was one of them.

Not because of his superstar status—then again, maybe that is a part of it… His life was nothing less than fascinating, an anomaly of sorts. How can one person touch so many lives? I mean really, when I say ‘Everybody knows who Michael Jackson is” I can say that and mean it. Of course when you start singing and dancing on television before the age 6, a lot of people will know who you are, but Michael Jackson was the epitome of famous. He took fame to heights others will only ever wish to reach. Way beyond record selling concerts and scores of Grammys, NAACP and AMA awards. There is just something about a person who can do what he did; be so famous and yet such a mystery to the world.

You'll Never Make Me Stay So Take Your Weight Off Of Me

I Know Your Every Move

So Won't You Just Let Me Be

I've Been Here Times Before but I Was Too Blind To See

That You Seduce Every Man

This Time You Won't Seduce Me...

Lyrics from: "Dirty Diana"

When I think of Michael Jackson my first thought is of my Thriller Album—actually I believe it belonged to my mother… Playing it in the basement of my grandparents 1940’s brick bungalow on the old record player that had multi-colored disco bulbs that lit up when the music played. Very retro indeed. The album opened up like a book and inside the “King of Pop” lay with a baby tiger while donning a dapper white suite. For some reason I will always remember the way his left arm looked. The two slim bones stood out on the inside of his wrist and as a 5 year old girl that scared the bejezzus out of me. Thinking back now, I think it showed a glimse of his frailty.

Then I think of that fly gangsta lean he does in the middle of the ‘Smooth Criminal’ video, you know the way he and his surrounding dancers look as though they are being pulled down to the floor by invisable strings, first to the left then to the right…pure perfection.

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My Favourite Winter Coat

This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind

I See The Kids In The Street, With Not Enough To Eat

Who Am I, To Be Blind? Pretending Not To See Their Needs

A Summer's Disregard, A Broken Bottle Top

And One Man's Soul

They Follow Each Other On The Wind Ya' Know' Cause They Got Nowhere To Go

That's Why I Want You To Know

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror

I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer

If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place

Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change...

Lyrics from: "Man in the Mirror"

He infused some pretty hard rock into numerous songs he wrote. Opening up a whole new genre to many people who may have never listened to heavy guitar riffs from people like Slash or Steve Stevens, Michael Jackson was a proverbial music bridge. “Dirty Diana” and “Give in to me” are both at the top of my all time favorite MJ song list.

The ups and downs of his short life will no doubt be broadcasted on every news stand and television channel for at least the next month, if not longer. No one will ever know what happened behind closed doors on that ranch in California but I have my opinions as I’m sure you do too…

So Just Leave Me Alone

Leave Me Alone(Leave Me Alone)

(Leave Me Alone)Leave Me Alone

Leave Me Alone

Stop It! Just Stop Doggin' Me Around (Just Stop Doggin' Me)

('Cause There's A Time WhenYou're Right)

(And You Know You MustFight)

Who's Laughing Baby, Don'tYou Know, Girl

(It's The Choice That WeMake)

(And This Choice You WillTake)

Who's Laughin' Baby...

Lyrics from: "Leave me Alone"

For now, let’s remember that this man was just a man. A son, brother, father and to many a friend. No different from you or me but at the same time so very different from anyone who has ever lived. Maybe that was the problem; he was a tormented soul, a genius that will never be fully understood. Surrounded by people who didn’t understand how big his heart was—or did and took advantage of the fact, how naive he surely must have been at one point. When you’ve never really been out in the world, alone to fend for yourself, never teased at school, been in a fist fight with a bully--if you were never able to walk down the street as a “normal person” I think you can’t help but to not know how to ‘be’.

Love is a feeling

Give it when I want it

Quench my desire Cuz I'm on fire

Give it when I want it

Talk to me woman

Give in to me

Give in to me...

Lyrics from: "Give in to me"

I don’t like to think about my own mortality but in times like this I can’t help it. It’s happening on a more frequent basis now that 30 is right around the corner. Memories of people I love who are gone now, along with specific events sprinkled throughout my life could truly have a Michael Jackson music score. Singing off key all the lyrics to "Bad" in the car with my friends or watching the full length Thriller video at the neighbors house and being petrified of the Zombies. T-shirts, backpacks, folders, view finder-- you name it, I had it all …

I just wanna touch and kiss

And I wish that I could be with you tonight

You give me butterflies inside, inside

and I All I gotta say is that I must be dreaming,

can't be real You're not here with me,

still I can feel you near me I caress you,

let you taste us, just so blissful listen I would give you anything baby,
just make my dreams come true

Oh baby you give me butterflies...

Lyrics from: "Butterflies"

The sadness his biggest fans are feeling can’t even come close to what his siblings and parents are feeling at this very moment. Simply because they will always have the smell of his shampoo in their nose and his touch on their back.

Years from now a gentle wind will blow and it will carry with it a gust of memories that will overtake and make them think only of him.... Memories of his smile or of him in his favorite shirt, eating his favorite meal or maybe a joke he told that will still make them belly laugh like he’d just told it….

Night creatures call

And the dead start to walk in their masquerade

Theres no escapin the jaws of the alien this time(they're open wide)

This is the end of your life

They're out to get you, theres demons closing in on every side

They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial

Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together

All thru the night Ill save you from the terror on the screen,

Ill make you see

That this is thriller, thriller night cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try Girl,

this is thriller, thriller night So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller

Thriller here tonight...

Lyrics from: "Thriller"

My hope is that Lisa Marie Presley will reach out to Michael Jackson’s 3 young children and help them cope with the same kind of loss she too suffered as a young child of an iconic figure.
For the select few who got to be a part of his every day, I hope they didn’t take that for granted.

You got to get it right while you got the time….

Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend...

2009-05-06T01:06:00.002-05:00

Check out my article here and please, leave a comment. I'm interested in your opinion...

I promise to have more posts soon.

40 days....

2009-02-25T18:06:00.005-05:00

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

I've heard that statement from the time I was child. Never quite understanding what it really meant. What I think it means is that today--or tomorrow, you can start over. The past is back there and today is a new day. Another chance to be the person you want to be.

Today happens to be the first day of Lent, a good day to begin anew. The day after gorging yourself with pancakes and packzkis, liquor and parties on Bourbon street. Today is the day that many Catholics and Christians alike give something up for 40 days in honor of Jesus and his 40 days in desert.

Even though I'm not Catholic--I did go to Catholic school so Lent was something I've always been really aware of. Whether I took part in it was a whole different matter. However, I do remember my grandma gave up her after dinner cigarette for Lent and never smoked again. Others give up candy, pie or sweets altogether. Fast food, wine, chips, sex, you name it.

I'm not sure if there are specific rules you have to follow but from my understanding the purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer—through prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self-denial—for Easter or the celebration of Death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ.

For me, this year will be the first year as an adult that I will participate in the celebration of Lent. I've come to a point where I want things to be different. I want my mind to be clearer and I want my body to be cleaner. I want more self-control and self-direction. I need to be whomever it is I think I should have been by now.

This is an excerpt from the AmericanCatholic.org website:

Fasting is more than a means of developing self-control. It is often an aid to prayer, as the pangs of hunger remind us of our hunger for God. The first reading on the Friday after Ash Wednesday points out another important dimension of fasting.

The prophet Isaiah insists that fasting without changing our behavior is not pleasing to God.

"This, rather, is the fasting that I wish: releasing those bound unjustly, untying the thongs of the yoke; setting free the oppressed, breaking every yoke; sharing your bread with the hungry, sheltering the oppressed and the homeless; clothing the naked when you see them, and not turning your back on your own" (Is 58:6-7).

Fasting should be linked to our concern for those who are forced to fast by their poverty, those who suffer from the injustices of our economic and political structures, those who are in need for any reason. Thus fasting, too, is linked to living out our baptismal promises. By our Baptism, we are charged with the responsibility of showing Christ's love to the world, especially to those in need. Fasting can help us realize the suffering that so many people in our world experience every day, and it should lead us to greater efforts to alleviate that suffering.

Abstaining from meat traditionally also linked us to the poor, who could seldom afford meat for their meals. It can do the same today if we remember the purpose of abstinence and embrace it as a spiritual link to those whose diets are sparse and simple. That should be the goal we set for ourselves—a sparse and simple meal. Avoiding meat while eating lobster misses the whole point!

Even if you aren't particularly religious, I think that you can appreciate what it means to give something up in order to better understand what you have. Being able to really empathize with someone who has something you take for granted everyday could do wonders for your point of view.

Sitting quietly with yourself--some call it prayer can do wonders for your mind and your soul. Bring out a sense of creativity and inspiration that has been repressed by the business of everyday life.

So I have chosen to give up meat for 40 days, that's a big deal for this carnivore. I've also decided to focus more and give up my friend procrastination. Because as it states above, fasting without changing our behavior is pointless. I don't think I can give up meat forever, but I can give up my unhealthy sense of laziness and lack of motivation. I have so many resources available to me and I think 40 days should be enough time to put them to good use.

What are your thoughts?

Do you celebrate Lent, what will you give up?

The Gambler

2009-02-23T00:59:00.004-05:00

I just finished watching the Oscars and I must say I'm glad I didn't put any money on it because I would have lost big time. Big Time!

I really thought The Curious Case... was going to win best picture and Brad Pitt would win best actor. Wrong and wrong. I haven't seen 'Slumdog Millionaire' but I understand that it was the underdog and everyone loves an underdog.... Plus, Bollywood is really on the come-up now so I'm sure we will be seeing more India based movies in the near future. Of course I love seeing more brown people getting proper screen time.

As far as best actress goes I really thought Angie had it in the bag. I'm glad Kate won though, because she is so sweet and seems like a genuine person. I loved how she waved to her Dad in the audience, so cute.

Taraji P. Henson had the best supporting actress vote from me but Penelope Cruz took that one home for that threesome Barcelona movie.

I will say, I knew Heath Ledger would win best supporting actor for 'The Dark Knight' but really, who didn't?

I thought Frost/Nixon would get some awards but I don't think they got any.

I haven't seen 'The Wrestler" but Mickey Rourke had my vote from the previews. No one could play such a rundown, downtrodden, lost and washed-up, has-been better then him. I say that with the best intentions!

All in all I really, really enjoyed the show. Will Smith looked great. The dance number with Hugh Jackman and Beyonce was fantabulous, as was the opening number.

I think the inventive way they did the presentations of the best actress/actor, best supporting actor/actress was a delightful change that I wish they would have thought of long ago. It was nice to see winners from the past honoring all the nominees of the evening. In past years it has always seemed to me as though they didn't pay much attention to all the nominees. It really is a big deal just to get to that point, whether they win or lose.

As far as fashion goes:

Ann Hathaway and Taraji P. Henson had the best dresses of all.

What are your thoughts?

Picture credit: Getty

Are you there God, it's me, Erika

2009-02-06T17:27:00.003-05:00

I swear I'm not dead, even though I feel like it most days....

I've put aside once again one of the most important things to me, my writing.

I have ideas, thoughts, ramblings all sorts of things I could say but some how my motivation has left. I jot down notes and ideas all over the place but they never get any further then my handy dandy notebook. I hate that I'm one of those people who needs accolades and a support system to keep going but I do. My lack support from family makes it really hard to believe in myself.

I am way to old for that.

I suck.

So here it is a new year and not much to show for it. Well I have to get off my duff or actually get on my duff and write something, something brilliant. A friend reminded me that I have been writing this book forever in my head but haven't got much down on paper. I need to go back to basics and remember what it is I've always wanted.

I have a dream.

Yes Virginia, it does snow in Vegas.

2008-12-17T01:19:00.006-05:00

A street scene a few miles from my house....

A picture of the desert covered in snow....

To the surprise of some it snowed here yesterday. Click here for the breaking news story.

I, on the other hand wasn't surprised. I knew that every so often it does snow in the desert. I was just hoping--praying even that it wouldn't be for a few more years. I really do feel bad for the mid-west and east coast vacationers who came here for fun and sun....

Better luck next year!

Since this is my blog and all about me, I want to know...

Can I have one, just one entire winter without snow??? Is that to much to ask from this Detroit transplant!

Jeez.

Good thing I had just finished knitting these.

All The Rage

2008-12-09T00:35:00.005-05:00

Some friends of mine are going to see the new vampire flick Twilight this weekend. However I'm torn on whether to tag along. Because--now brace yourself.......I haven't read the book. I may be the only woman under the age of 35 who hasn't.

To my defense, I don't really like Vampire books or movies in fact. So I've never had any interest in reading the YA fiction. However, after seeing an interview with Stephenie Meyers, the author of the teenaged-blood thirsty-love story trilogy I did think twice about my vampire story apprehensions. Her story has a Cinderella-esque ring to it. You can read the interview here.

I don't know whether to love her or to hate her. I mean jeez, I know writers who have toiled for years and can't get an agent. She simply dreams up a story and wrote it down and VOILA! she's a NY Times best seller...? I know I know don't be a hater, Erika but the story, it's just almost to good to be true. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for my fellow mother of three and full time writer for her immense success. I'm just showing my catty side I guess....

Nonetheless, my dilemma is whether I need to read the book(s) before I see the movie or vise versa. If I read the book first then I will undoubtedly expect more from the movie. Because in my opinion the movies rarely do the books justice. On the other hand, I can see the movie first and not have any great expectations and then read the book to fill in the blanks.

Which do you prefer?

Photo courtesy of CBS Sunday Morning

My Favorite Time of Year...

2008-11-20T13:54:00.004-05:00

This is absolutely my favorite time of year. I LOVE Thanksgiving. It has to be the best holiday hands down. Maybe because I love cooking so much and I do SO MUCH of it on Thanksgiving. Here's a rundown on my 2008 Thanksgiving menu:

New York Style Prime Rib Roast

Dressing

Candied yams

Green Bean Casserole

Turnip & Mustard Greens

Mashed Potatoes??

Macaroni and Cheese

Dessert is the husbands department but I've put a bid in for sweet potato pie--my husbands sweet pie is the ish and zucchini bread...

This is the first year that I'm doing the roast so pray with me that I don't destroy a $90 piece of meat! I found some pretty good recipes at the grocery store and on allrecipes.com. Everything else is pretty much the same as every other year. Except for the mashed potatoes, I never make mashed potatoes on T-Day and it feels weird to even be thinking about it. Maybe because I don't know any black people who make them on Thanksgiving. I'm sure there are some, I just don't know them... However, since I'm making a roast it seems like mashed is called for don't you?

I don't know what it is about Thanksgiving that I love so much. I could say it's the crisp fall air and the beauty of the reds and golds that the leaves turn. Now, since I'm not in Michigan anymore and the weather is in the high 70's and there are very few trees to turn I know that's not it. Could it be the Thanksgiving day Lions football game? .....ummm no.

Maybe because it's a family holiday and you don't have to exchange presents. I hate the pressure and disappointment that those type of holidays can bring. Yup, I think that may just be it. That and all the food!

Photo courtesy of http://sharonscrapbook.blogspot.com. I hope mine turns out as well!

A New Day Has Come

2008-11-05T17:17:00.004-05:00

So much to say.

So much hope and joy in my heart.

At this very moment I am proud to be an American.

I knew he was what we needed

I knew his audacity to hope was a wonder to us all.

I knew he had the determination, energy, strength, understanding and perseverance to do the job.

I wasn't sure it would happen....our dreams would come to fruition.

That America would have not only the audacity to hope but the courage to stand up and do it.

WE DID IT!

TOGETHER!

Congratulations America--to us all, for making the right decision, a decision that will benefit us all.

GO VOTE TODAY!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-04T14:33:00.001-05:00

I had the chance to vote early but a lot of you haven't so I expect you to be out there today. No matter how long the line is or how cold or windy it may be. Do not drop the ball this time, we can't afford to lose, again....

A Picture Speaks a Thousand Words....

2008-10-30T14:28:00.001-05:00

While You Are Out Here in Blogland...

2008-10-22T10:35:00.003-05:00

Check out my review of the movie Fireproof here.

I have loads to talk about but not the good sense to write my ideas down and actually blog them. In my defense, I do have a good excuse....I just can't tell you about it :)

The Art of losing myself

2008-09-29T00:01:00.000-05:00

I have talent. I can do things others can't. No I can't stand on my head or recite all the state capitals in alphabetical order--I can't do it in any order to be honest.

My talent is magnificent in itself and even though no one in their right mind would probably want it I would be happy to give it away.

Have you seen me?

Name-Erika Washington aka- Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!

DOB-1/6/1980

Height-5'4

Weight-129lbs

Eyes-Brown

Hair-Loreal #234 or 267

An extremely sexy writer with goals and ambitions to write novels and articles for major magazines and newspapers wearing really cute heels.

Last seen: Roaming Albertson's grocery store with food stuck to her dress, a migraine, a crying baby on one hip, a pouty 9 year old behind and a sassy 5 year old stuck on the other leg; unable to string a compound complex sentence together.

My thoughts...

2008-09-27T12:00:00.001-05:00

Grey's Anatomy and Brothers and Sisters both start this week, that makes me so happy!

I apologize to my loyal 5 readers, I've been quite bitter these last few posts. Sorry.

Warning, it my not be over just yet.

My little fortune cookie from P.F. Chang's might have been right.

Why isn't classmates.com out of business yet?The forecast says it's only going to be 91 next week, Fall must be here...lol

Tuesday I had the most expensive burger I've ever eaten and it was worth it.

My hand is itching.....

Oktoberfest. Yum....

I need a new phone. Tape is just not a good look.

Thank you for being a friend.

Is It My Place?

2008-09-25T19:51:00.005-05:00

There are few things in this world that I can boast about. I don't feel like I need to put on airs or display my feathers for all to see. Either you like me or you don't. Either way.....

What I can boast about is my JOB. Yes, my J-O-B. I work hard everyday and I am damn good at it. Every single day I wake up and my job starts instantly. From the moment I crawl out of bed and stumble into the kitchen to 3 am when someone wakes from a bad dream or wet sheets. It's hard, it's thankless and and it's mine. I love it with all my heart and know that this is what I was meant for. None of this is new and most Moms, especially the ones who do it solely without a side job as an attorney or doctor know that we are well underestimated.

Children take you for granted, husbands take you for granted and other women who have never raised a child think you just have it soooo easy. I get it. And unless you've been on this side you will never know. What amazes me are the women who have raised children. Those who had to struggle to get through each day when the baby that had a temp of 101 but they had to go to work anyway. The woman who did it without the help of a husband or grandmother. The same kind of woman who just simply wanted a break after 3 hours of a screaming newborn.

How can you look me straight in the eye and say that I need to get a real job?

What is it about my life that looks easy to you?

What part of raising productive citizens who make wise choices and succeed beyond any of our expectations isn't work?

A person who has never raised three children--three girls can't put themselves in my shoes. A person who was barely there for their own can't even look me in the face.

Everyone can't be me, so don't hate.

Who's Sleeping In Your Bed?

2008-09-22T22:45:00.005-05:00

A marriage consists of two people. That's it. Unless your a member of the LDS church....

In a wedding ceremony two people vow to stay as one or so they say.

Those two people make love, make babies, make bills, make hate and make sacrifices for each other.

No one else should be involved. Especially not a parent. Certainly not a parent who has admitted that they were a shitty parent. If you had 18 years and 9 months to get it together but failed so many times on so many different levels. What on God's green earth gives you the right to run your mouth on someone who has put their children first since day one? None, absolutely none.

When you're on the outside looking in you only see a blurred vision of what is actually there. Only when you've opened the door, stepped inside and observed the entire house can you make careful observations.

The door is locked and you have not been invited in.

***pulls the curtain closed***

9-11-99

2008-09-11T11:41:00.003-05:00

Today, my oldest turns 9.

Wow. I still can't believe it.

They weren't playing when they said Time Flies.....

The Girl Who Didn't Cry Uncle...

2008-09-11T11:28:00.006-05:00

I think I've gone and bumped my head.

Most know, I am one of those people who bites off way more then can fit inside their mouths. Yet I still do it. Why? Good question, to bad I can't answer it. Maybe I have a fear of boredom.

Erica, I listened to your wisdom and has since dropped one of the classes....

But have replaced it with 3 new ideas for me to tackle.

I guess I'll never learn.

Lightning cuts the wild sky....Who are we?

2008-08-26T22:07:00.003-05:00

As a mother of three I have witnessed my share of name-calling, bickering and immaturity. As a newbie into the culture of the “stay at home mommy club” I was, to say the least surprised that most of the culprits have been other mothers. Raising children is hard, that pretty much goes without saying, however, my personal feeling is that we make it so much harder then it has to be. We judge each other on how we feed, interact, teach and discipline them. Should I breast feed or use a bottle? When is the best time to start solid foods? Should I vaccinate my children? Is your way better then mine? These are all questions that run tirelessly through a new mothers head. There is so much information out there via television, news reports and parenting magazines telling us how to raise healthy, happy kids that it can feel somewhat overwhelming.

So you ask your fellow mommy at the park what type of parenting plan there on. This is where it can get ugly with the name calling and snarky remarks. One mother will believe that spanking is a necessary part of the discipline process and another will call it child abuse. Mommy number two will tell you the only way to give your kids proper nutrition is to breast feed until they’re five. While someone in the background will whisper how gross that is. Is spanking okay? Can I give my kid a bottle of Enfamil and know that she will be as smart as the rest of her class? Those questions can only be answered by the mother if at all. However, judging other mothers because they parent differently then you is not showing your own children how to treat a friend.

Believing that there is only one way to raise a child to become a productive citizen is a mistake. Maybe your way is better for you and my way is better for me and my children.
Everyone wants the best but the best isn’t being shown when we argue in front of our kids over who is better. We go out of our way to show our children how to share and use their manners but then turn around and become flippant with a mom who doesn’t see things our way. Support from our fellow mom is, in my biased opinion, the only way to raise children. As a community, mothers need to unite and educate each other so that all our children, whether cloth diapered or not can be the best they can be.

My Eyes were watching him

2008-08-15T23:25:00.002-05:00

The first 2 minutes of this clip is the hottest love scene ever. That kiss...oh..my..God....help me jesus. Damn.

I think it's the way he looks at her, he never takes his eyes off her lips tounge mouth. She can't even close her eyes because she is so in love with this man and the way he touchs her.

You don't see black love scenes like this often so when one is made it should be shown over and over. Feel free to keep playing it...I know I have.

How Do You Want To Be Kissed?

2008-08-15T23:14:00.001-05:00

If this isn't one of the sexiest love scenes ever, then I don't know what is...

The World's Only As Big As What You Know...

2008-08-08T09:40:00.005-05:00

I seem to be on a roll with my random thoughts so I figure I'll just continue on. Some of these things are subjects I wanted to blog whole, long-winded posts about but just haven't had the time. I may go back and revisit later if I feel the need. In the meantime...

In this state of reflection that I am currently in I have wondered how almost this entire year has gone by and I still feel like I have accomplished very little. I need to reassess my new years goals and get a serious fire lit under my ass.

My dear friend Erica got bit by a Cobra! She is fine but dang a COBRA.

Since I'm on the subject of Erica, I would like to point out that in all her pictures--and there must be hundreds from her nearly 2 year commitment to the Peace corps, I fail to see more then one black person. This of course is not including the villagers because yes, she is in Africa. However, in terms of volunteers I don't see any black American men or women there to Help, Educate, Learn from, Explore, Shape, Love or Give back to our "Motherland". What's up with that? Maybe they were all assigned to a different village or to China....nah, I don't think so.

My new favorite morning treat: Nonni's caramel latte biscotti....the best part of waking up, besides coffee.

Kwame, Kwame, Kwame, you have made a mockery of yourself, your children, your Mother and Detroit.

It's official. My family has become a 2 grocery cart family. I knew it was coming but jeez, it still amazes me.

Luke Skywalker from 2-Live-Crew.....you know--oh me so horny, me love you long time. Yeah that one, he has his own reality show on VH1 now. Apparently, he's playing a father knows best type while running an "Urban adult entertainment" business....I don't know either, I assume that's like umm ghetto porn? Who knows, but I bet you still got that song stuck in your head.

My new favorite reality show is 'Wipeout" on ABC. I'm not sure why but I think it's the extremely humorous banter between the commentators more then anything else. It's definitely NOT the butt cam.

I'm a huge 'Grey's Anatomy' fan, HUGE. I even bought a real set of the 1st season DVD's. Since everyone knows I only rent and burn, that's a big friggin' deal. Anyhoo, Kathrine Heigl's Emmy controversy is extremely irritating. I agree that last season was a bit bland but I blame that on the writers strike and Issah Washington's uncalled for departure. For her to say she doesn't want to be in the running for an Emmy because she wasn't given quality material is a crock of crap. She doesn't need an Emmy because she sucks. Her character sucks and her funny tooth sucks. Don't get me wrong, I don't think she's a bad actor--I liked "Knocked Up". But I almost didn't see it because of the snotty aire about her. I think that she's getting a little too big for her britches and needs to honor her contract and be grateful she has a job. We've seen it before, people get a few hit movies under there belt and demand to be let out of their contract and BAM! they fall flat on their face and can't get a job shakin' their ass let alone a major movie role. Heigl needs to realize she isn't Will Smith.

I need a million dollars.

I really, really want a fish pedicure.

I swear my kids grow over night. One minute they look like babies the next like little people.

Why do we constantly compare ourselves to other people? Always thinking we don't measure up...

I'm really wondering how I teach my girls how to avoid the "magicians" in life. I know they will get their heart broken and it's necessary, but some of these men....they got the game on lock.

Why is it so hard to get men to do things? Then, when you stop asking they want to know why you didn't ask them if they wanted to go...

The Olympics start tonight! I got 17 days to finish the sweater and throw for the Ravelympics!

"Nothing stands out so conspicuously, or so remains so firmly fixed in the memory, as something which you have blundered"--CICERO

Don't Quote Me

2008-08-04T09:29:00.004-05:00

I've gotten bored with blogging, if you haven't noticed...I don't know what it is but my groove is way off. It isn't that I haven't had anything to say, I just haven't felt like saying it. I know I've needed a blogcation but I also know I can't be gone too long. I've been told that I'm on the clock....

So, I'm following the lead of others and posting some random ish today...

I love the Summer Olympics. It always reminds me of being that little girl again, dreaming of being a gymnast, swimmer, track star...

I'm so glad I moved to Vegas, change is so good for the soul

Miley Cyrus has nothing on these girls

Why do some people waste so much oxygen

I love that Angelina and Brad can raise 14 million for charity from a set of baby pictures

This type of YA makes me feel old and out of touch.

I am longing for a day when I can sit down and watch the complete first season of Mad Men...

I'm going to take the plunge, I've decided to get my first Brazilian wax...but someone will have to hold my hand, probably my legs too!

I spent yesterday afternoon browsing the craft stores so I can become the next black Martha Stewart. I swear if I had the means I would make so much stuff.

I think I'm going to home school my kids. But I will work twice as hard to make them look like they're not...

I hate it when doctors office's send out letters saying "Your results are in...it is imperative that you make an appointment at your earliest convenience." WTF just call me and tell me what's wrong with me.

Empty promises are just that.

You ever really want to know what someones voice sounds like?

A Cooler Spot on the Pillow

2008-07-03T05:01:00.000-05:00

I’m 28 years old. This means I was born in the 80’s, a time when women were trying to break through that glass ceiling. These women were forgoing kids and marriage for power suites and corner offices. They wanted to be seen as equals and taken seriously on Wall Street. I remember watching “Baby Boom” the movie with Diane Keaton she was a powerhouse, a force to be reckoned with. Remember she always wore the same really-bland-conservative-grey suite, so as not to accentuate the fact that she had breasts and hips? Working 60 even 80 hours a week just so she could be looked at, not as a women, but an invaluable executive.

I WANTED TO BE HER.

That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? That’s why they burned their bras in the 60’s and fought for the freedom of choice and birth control in the 70’s? It was told to us both subliminally and with stentorophonic urgency that we don’t need a man. We could depend on ourselves and do it just as good if not better then a man.

In Junior high school if any one asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I said either a corporate attorney or a best-selling author. I never said I want to be a housewife or a stay-at-home Mommy. Who wants to do that? That’s not an admirable occupation; you can’t possibly use your brain staying home eating bon bons and clipping coupons all day. That kind of woman is only going to pull us 10 steps back, back to a time where women donned aprons and had dinner ready and a highball glass of Maker’s Mark waiting for her man.

I AM THAT WOMAN

Well sort of. I don’t wear an apron; I prefer to just wipe my hands on my low-rise jeans. I clip coupons but I have the majority of them emailed to me. I do not eat bon bons. I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen one to be perfectly honest. I do try to have dinner ready and waiting but I’m more likely to drink that highball of whisky (with sour mix) then have one waiting. Besides he likes Bacardi anyway. Still, the fact of the matter is, I love it. I love being at home with my kids. I love being able to run my household and know, emphatically, that no one else can do my job. I can’t be replaced, demoted or terminated.

I guess to the outside world it does look a little trivial when I rattle off my schedule for any given week.

Monday is dance and swimming lessons.
Tuesday we have a play date at the park.
Wednesday is movie day and library story time.
Thursday is another play date with my knitting group.
Friday is family day.
Saturday is craft day and another trip to the library.
Sunday is church and other activities with church friends such as feeding the homeless.

Of course I didn’t include grocery shopping, PTA meetings laundry, vacuuming, mopping, blogging, and all my other motherly duties. You can’t tell me all of that isn’t work that requires brain power. It takes savvy to even find activities for your kids that are fun, educational and affordable.

That’s not the point and this isn’t one of those manifestos declaring that homemakers do just as much and deserve the same respect and admiration as Sandra Day O’Conner. I don’t really care if some think my life is simple or easy. If they think I sit around all day watching soaps and painting my toes then so be it. I don’t have to justify my life choices to anyone.

As a matter of fact, my career path has surprised me just as much as it surprises anyone else my age who asks what I “do”. How an 80’s baby could become a retro mama is a mystery to me. Let’s not forget I’m a black woman, which means I’m really supposed to be out there showing them what I’m made of. Not home scrapbooking shots of the baby using her “big-girl” cup and knitting a cable throw to match my newly decorated master bedroom.

I know I’m not the only one my age who is in the same position. Wondering how we got here when most of our mothers weren’t homemakers. Just as sure as I am that there are women out there who would love to be in my shoes.

Next week: “The Rocky Road to being a Dependent Woman”

Picture credits to: http://www.stitchthrutime.com/

ROSE ROYCE Love Don't Live Here Anymore

2008-06-26T13:47:00.001-05:00

Original...circa 1976

Love Don't Live Here Anymore-Madonna

2008-06-26T13:42:00.001-05:00

Circa...1984

The Life of a Writer

2008-06-24T16:57:00.012-05:00

So I know some of you have noticed I've been MIA for the past week or more. I have been covering the CineVegas film festival here in Valley. It was my first year to attend and I wanted to soak up as much of the atmosphere as humanly possible. I'm posting some of the pictures today because people have asked me about them. I will talk more about the events and post more pictures in a later post.

The Premiere of "The Rocker" actor Rainn Wilson

on Thursday, June 12

Actor Bill Pullman and Robin Leech at the Premiere of "Your Name Here"

Friday, June 13

Me and Rosario Dawson right after the premiere of "Explicit Ills", photo taken by Shamar Moore.
Saturday, June 21

Me and Shamar Moore in the Palms Casino.

about 5 minutes later...

Me and Elvis Mitchell just before the premiere of "The Great Buck Howard" Saturday, June 21

A view of The Palazzo Resort from the party at the pool on the 3rd floor.

The entrance of the closing night party, model Ms. Kimberly in a 9 ft tall Champagne glass.

The contortionist in the bubble at the Palazzo Resort.

2008-06-15T23:18:00.001-05:00

Happy Father's Day!

Silver or Gold, which is which?

2008-06-13T17:55:00.003-05:00

There are two versions of a great song below, who do you think did it better?

I first heard this song years and years ago. I loved it, from the first cord. It to me, says how hard it is to let go of the one you loved the most, yet not be bitter.

I didn't personally care for India's version when I first heard it but it's growing on me. I think I still prefer Don's version, maybe because of his voice, which I love.

Or, it could just be that a man saying those words--just means something more.

You almost expect a woman to be able to come to these conclusions but to hear a man say:

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old, true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck, and the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are those voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment and beg for something more?
I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined...people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition
Cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us doesn't keep me warm
I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I'd figured out
I have to learn again
I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
But everything changes and my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carryin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside
I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak and the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me

Don Henley - Heart of the Matter

2008-06-13T17:23:00.001-05:00

The original....Circa 1980's I think :)

Sex And The City Soundtrack - The Heart Of The Matter

2008-06-13T17:20:00.001-05:00

India Arie's Version.....2008

You are free, you just don't know it yet.

2008-06-11T11:18:00.004-05:00

Anyone remember the saying:

'Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part'?

My old hair dresser back in the day used to have that sign hanging in her basement shop. She was very strict on late appointments and frequent call offs.That was a long, long time ago but I sincerely believe that those words still ring true today. So where are you going with this, you may ask.

This year, marks my tenth year out of high school. It truly doesn't feel like it's been that long. Some days, I still feel very much like a child, albeit, a child with a hell of a lot of bills and 3 children herself. I watch Degrassi and Instant Star and can totally relate to some of the story lines. The point is I don't feel like ten years has gone by since I walked the halls to French class or to Ms. Battle's college writing classes. I'm kind of getting off subject a bit..Sorry.

So, I heard through the grapevine that a group of girls (that hung out together in high school) appointed themselves as head of the reunion committee. They didn't invite anyone with experience or the know how to join the aforementioned committee. Surprise, surprise.

Planing a party of this size takes months and months of organized planing. It takes experience and dedication but most of all it takes someone who can think outside of their own small world. The people who tried to put on my class reunion obviously had none of those things.

When you wait until November to send out an email blast stating that we need to send in a deposit for the reunion, even though you haven't given us any information on the when and the where, that constitutes a problem.

When you send out these emails with everyone of the addresses showing--instead of sending it bcc, that to me is problem. Everybody may not want everyone else to have their email information. It's just a professional courtesy.

I'm not sure if these girls are living in the same world that I am but gas is $4.17 here, and the price of plane tickets and car rentals are though the roof. In other words we a living in a recession, and people don't have hundreds of dollars to spend just to go to a high school reunion.

Communication is key, you can't accomplish anything when person 'A' thinks person 'B' is doing something and person 'C' thought they were supposed to do it, but in actuality 'D' did it because her heard from 'B' that 'C' didn't know how to do it. Confused? Yeah me too. That's all I saw in this short lived attempt to put together an over the top extravaganza.

By the time an itinerary did come out, they scheduled something for Friday night in one city, a cruise Saturday night in another and then close it up with another event on Sunday. All fine and dandy if you still live in the area, or have family in the area. I don't. so that means on top of buying plane tickets and event tickets I would have had to rent a car and get a hotel room. Plus, remember I have three kids...where are they going to go? A babysitter, or on the trip with us? I added up the total amount I would have had to spend and let's just say it was over a thousand dollars! I could go to Cancun or Disneyland and spend less then that.

There are plenty of alternatives I could have suggested. Like, have a BBQ at one of the hundreds of lakes in the area. Rent a VFW hall and have a cabaret type of event. Or, just have done one of the events originally planned. If the purpose of a reunion is to see everyone and catch up on old times, then all that extra wasn't necessary in the first place. I find it quite comical that one of the more affluent high schools near my Alma mater is doing a simple picnic, charging $10 or so per person. A school where I personally know that some of the graduates are doctors and lawyers and engineers.....Now, I'm not saying my class doesn't have any of those but...

To be honest, even if I still lived in the area I probably wouldn't go to the reunion. I've kept in touch with all my friends from high school. Everyone I care about--what their doing, how they are or what's going on their world...I can pick up the phone and just call. They know where I am, what I'm up to etc...because they are my friends. What's funny is none of them had planned to attend the reunion either.

So, the other day I hear through the grapevine that the reunion is cancelled. Due to lack class support....humm

Another quote comes to mind "Champagne plans on a Boone's Farm budget."

And now it begins...I will suduce you, with ink

2008-06-05T19:36:00.005-05:00

One Segment I thought I would try is "Who did it best?" I will post two songs weekly and you tell me which is better....in your opinion.

I usually have a problem with remakes or covers but sometimes--sometimes, someone else comes along and does what the original artist just couldn't do.

The first post is below, The Queen Latifah-vs-The Rev. Al Green.

I will say this is one of my favorites of all time. Simply Beautiful.

Queen Latifah (Feat. Al Green) - Simply Beautiful

2008-06-05T19:35:00.001-05:00

The Cover.....2005

Simply Beautiful - Al Green

2008-06-05T19:34:00.001-05:00

The Original....circa 1972

Ch ch changes..

2008-06-03T15:39:00.003-05:00

Change #1 for NWMC will be my post titles. They have always been derived from song titles. Most people didn't even notice so I don't think it will be a big deal. I am deciding between using actual lyrics or quotes from books off my bookshelf. I think it may even be kind of fun if someone can guess where I got the title from.

Change#2 I will have a few regular posts every week. Not sure how many but just stay tuned

Change #3 Will be the color scheme. Feel free to comment on my choices....I will probably go through a few before I find the one.

I'm sure there will be more to come but that's it for now. Please leave an opinion anytime on any post.

Don't Make Me Over

2008-06-01T05:21:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with this blog. What I want the format to be. Technically, I've been blogging since 2006 but I didn't touch it for almost a year, so I don't much count that. I didn't start it to be seen by others. However, over the course of the past year more and more visitors have stopped by, some have even stuck around. So I figure maybe it's time for a spring cleaning or an Extreme Blogger Makeover-web edition.

Sometimes I'll look at other blogs and get blogger envy at how smooth and fresh their layout looks. I admire how some are so consistent with their posts. It's nice when I go to Don's blog on Saturday and I know he's doing old school music wars. It's something I said I wanted to do--have regularly scheduled subjects on the same days every week, but as we all know I am the procrastination queen.

I've been asked by various people what's my blog about? I usually don't have a concise answer. It's sort of a hodgepodge I guess.

I don't talk about politics much, even though I am a active voter and have been since I turned 18. I could tell you how I feel about the candidates and all their shenanigans or how I think if you don't vote then you suck, but, it's not where my heart is, at least not today.

I also don't blog about beauty products. I don't think anyone cares what kind of soap I use or moisturizer. Not because I'm not interested in looking hot, I have-somewhat against my will-stopped paying much attention to how I look. I still bathe and comb my hair mind you....but there isn't any effort behind it. So sad.

I also don't really talk about writing or the process of writing I should say. I love writing but don't feel as though I have any authoritative knowledge on the subject to strictly talk about it. Not yet anyway.

I've seen plenty of "Mom Blogs" where women do nothing but gush over how cute their kids are and talk about what hilarious antidote that occurred during dinner. My kids are damn cute and some pretty funny stuff comes pouring out of their sweet little mouths too, but, you'll just have to take my word for it.

I kind of like the fact that I'm not confined to a single subject and I think I will keep it that way. That way I have the freedom to one day tell you that my youngest daughter started walking this past week. Or, that I love Avon thermafirm moisturizing cream. Or even, that I think Obama rocks and I can't wait to vote for him in November.

So maybe I won't do a extreme makeover just a mini dinner and a movie type of restyle. I'll try a few things out and see what works.

Suggestions always welcomed.

Michael Bublé - Home

2008-05-31T17:40:00.001-05:00

I LOVE this song..

Home is where your love is....

He LOVES Me....

2008-05-28T06:15:00.003-05:00

Here is another peek inside my scrapbook, letters my husband has written me over the years. I swear I fall more in love with him every single day.

My Love,

I was just thinking about you, thinking about how happy you make me.

Thinking about how it is we came to be and how lucky I am to be half of us, I must have done something right in my past life.

There will never be anything better than loving you and there is no high like being loved by you. People search their whole lives for love and happiness, the world is filled with flashlights and night vision goggles probing the darkness on a quest for the greener grass or the sunset ever after.

In front of your face, under your nose, the cliches never seem to be true, even when it's your nose and face.

I was just thinking about how much I love your nose and face.

I kept my flashlight on and somehow it found you and like a magic mirror, having you returned the light to make me feel like I'm glowing.

You will never ever be without me, I have lived in the darkness long enough and I can't live without your light in my life and in my heart.

There was no me without you and there will be no me without you....that's just what I was thinking.

I Love You. Happy Anniversary, both of them! -Your Husband

Teena Marie - Once And Future Dream

2008-05-27T18:33:00.001-05:00

Hands down, the best Rick/Teena duet they ever did.

You are, who I dreamed about in the past and the one I dream of being with in my future. Always and forever my one and only love.....

The Roots - You Got Me

2008-05-25T11:19:00.001-05:00

Another great love song...

Whitney Houston Mariah Carey When You Believe [tonnycac]

2008-05-17T10:19:00.001-05:00

This song goes with the post below.

When You Believe

2008-05-16T08:00:00.001-05:00

Attraction is a powerful thing.

That moment when you see someone for the first time and you know that your hand has to touch theirs, that your mouth has to know what his tastes like. It's a feeling so strong you think someone or something is physically pushing you toward that person. Then...the butterflies come, the shiver up your spine from their touch, the childlike giddiness you get every time someone says their name. Infatuation, lust, ecstasy-an emotional roller coaster of a drug like induced high. You'd do almost anything to hold on to these precious moments because everyone knows it won't be this way forever....

So when does an infatuated-attraction become LOVE?

Is there a such thing as LOVE at first sight?

When your heart is full and you step out on faith so to speak will LOVE be on your side?

Some couples take their time and get to know one another. They may first live together, then get engaged, then wait another year and a half to plan their wedding. Finally, they walk down the isle and jump the broom only to divorce a year later.

On the other hand, you have couples who meet, fall head over heels and get married a month later. They get divorced 15 months later.

Exceptions to the rule of course-both couples live happily ever after.

So what's the secret, why do some couples make it and others can't? All seem to start out with the same feelings of euphoria, yet, more then half don't make it.

Relationships are hard work. Marriage is twice as hard. You need to compromise on things you never thought you would have to compromise on. You have to honestly care about how someone else feels--about you cutting your hair, going on a trip or quitting your job. You are no longer an island but more like a peninsula. Attached to another human-feeding off their hopes, dreams, desires and needs while they feed off yours. You, have to be willing to do the work. Both must put 100% of themselves into the marriage and when one can only give 80% then the other has to put in that extra 20%. It takes strength, kindness, a whole lot of patients and of course LOVE.

But at the end of the day...it's so worth it.

Everything

2008-05-14T22:08:00.001-05:00

My husband wrote this for me in 2006, yet,even now it still leaves me breathless everytime I read it.

He makes me feel like the luckiest woman in the world. How many husbands write poetry for their wives on a regular basis?

Not enough that's for sure.

Sunrise
By: Tre Jordan

The sun came up this morning and she told me she loved me.
The sun came up this morning and her light brightened my world as if I had been blind since birth and never knew what true beauty really was.
The sun came up this morning suddenly everything seemed clear, no storms, no clouds, just a clarity that spoke of a future of happiness I had never known.
The sun came up this morning and the air seemed cleaner, I felt lighter on my feet with a skip in my step and the grass that seemed greener before now paled in the gleam of her shine.
When the sun came up this morning, I couldn’t help but to wonder why it took so long for me to notice how badly I needed her in my life, as a guide to show me the way, as a teacher to correct my mistakes and as a rod to ground me.
The sun came up this morning and she smiled, she smiled at me, on me and through me making my blood pressure rise higher than my prescribed medication could control.
The sun came up this morning and her touch was warm and soft like a midday summer breeze and her smell was sweet like southern home-cooking.
The sun came up this morning and she kissed me, she tasted like honey, like joy and happiness, she tasted like freedom.
The sun came up this morning and her shine seemed more than my soul could bear, it seemed to go on forever like an Alaskan season, and it brought life to everything around me.
The sun came up this morning and it was you.

Seasons of LOVE

2008-05-12T07:30:00.004-05:00

For me, May is the season of LOVE.

The weather is warm, more skin is showing, sunflowers and daisy's are in bloom and its also the month my honey and I said I do.

So to celebrate this season of love all my blog posts this month will be on the subject of LOVE, marriage, finding LOVE, falling in LOVE, staying in LOVE and making LOVE...

I'll do my best to try and not make you all sick with my emotional mush. Reader nausea is not my goal.

A funny kind of LOVE

2008-05-10T15:03:00.000-05:00

Photo credit-HBO

Two posts ago I briefly spoke on Polygamy. My goal was simply to give one view on the situation in Texas, hopefully, a non-judgemental one. I have not fully researched the Mormon religion so I will not pretend to be an expert on any of their beliefs. I do, on the other hand, think that HBO's Big Love is a great show. Not the same I know.

I also know, that I wouldn't be interested in having a polygamist relationship myself. Not to say I would mind someone else doing the housework, changing some poopy diapers and scrubbing the toilet. I guess that would be more along the lines of a maid though...

I am an only child and I don't share well with others so having a communal husband doesn't sound like all that much fun. However, I have to admit there have been a few moments when I would have liked to say "Can't you go to your other wife's house for awhile and leave me alone?" Still, I don't think it works like that either.

My point though was/is this, who am I to judge? Especially, when this is their religion and they have a bible to back up their beliefs; we all know the bible can and has been interpreted in many different ways. Baptist, Lutheran, 7th day Adventist all these religions have a somewhat different take on various scriptures. Who's right? Who's wrong? Not for me to say.

Polyomy is practiced all over the world and I don't see any U.S. forces storming the villages of Nigeria demanding that all the children must be taken away. The fact that a man wants to take responsibility for more then one wife and a bus load of kids can be looked at as somewhat commendable. Some men won't claim one.

The newspapers seemed to stress the fact that a large number of these young girls had already given birth and they weren't of age. So.

You can find plenty of young mothers all over Vegas, Detroit, Atlanta, Billings-pretty much anywhere in the United States. At least these girls were married and had the means and family support to care for these babies. I don't think they're out laboring in a bathroom stall or tossing them in dumpsters....

If any of the children were being abused, then yes, they should be removed from that abusive place, but if they are considering underage marriage or polygamy abuse then they need to return the children to their Mothers.

Whoop There It Is!

2008-05-09T07:21:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I was tagged early last week and almost forgot about it. Obviously, I've been slackin' on my bloggin'. I don't know how I could forget, because I've been waiting on someone to tag me for the longest. I feel a little like the last kid to be picked at dodge ball....yeah, its that bad.

Anyhoo, I finally got picked! Go me! Thanks SA. For any of you who may be unfamiliar with this game here are the rules:

Post the rules on your blog

Write six random things about yourself in a blog post

Tag six people in your post

Let each person know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

Let the tagger know your entry is up

So here goes nothing.

1. I hate birds. No particular kind, all birds in general freak me out. The way their heads move in that spastic sort of jumpy fashion. Besides they've always seemed really dirty to me and where are their ears? The city slickers- like pigeons or seagulls they don't even care if your coming toward them, they won't move-they're not scared of us. Didn't they used to be? They'll try and take the food right out your hands, yes, those bloody bastards will.

2. I'm a pack rat. Not to the extreme point of those people who make the news. You can freely walk through my home and not trip over things-normally. However, I have a hard time throwing things away. Pictures my kids have drawn, old birthday cards, newspapers I haven't read. See, I thought I only subscribed to the Fri, Sat, Sun paper but they started to deliver everyday for some reason. So, since I hate to waste a buck I feel obligated to read it. I may not get to it right away but eventually I will read it. Don't worry, I don't have more then two weeks worth of papers around the house. Gosh, it still sounds bad no matter how I explain it.

3. I'm glad I don't have any sons. I always thought I wanted a little boy and I've even watched half grown young men in the store with their Moms and thought awww, I want one. On the other hand, in actuality, I think little boys frighten me. They're so rough and hard to handle. Of course not all are but the kind I would want my girls to grow up and marry are.

4. I'm glad Taressa didn't tag me. Her tag rules make you list 16 random things! I could maybe do 10 or 12 but I'm not a friggin machine.

5. I think "lol" can be extremely annoying. I use it, but sparingly. Its like salt-if you simply sprinkle it you can avoid an overdose and giving someone the sour face or high blood pressure . There should be a max number of times someone is allowed to use lol in a single blog post, email or comment. The same goes for exclamation points. 2 is my vote.

6. I want braces. I wish I could have had them at the normal time, you know adolescences but some people had better things to spend their money on, I guess. So by my next birthday I will give myself the gift of straight-gap less teeth. I think I'll even get the little rubber bands too.

So there you have it- six random, unnecessary, quirky maybe even slightly disturbing things about me. I'm sure your life feels complete now. Kanette, Sara, Jen, Jules and Suiteb

TAG! You're IT!

Thanks for My Child

2008-04-30T14:05:00.005-05:00

Photos By Jenna Dosch/ViewMembers of the Vegas Mommies meet at area parks for outdoor activities with their children. Top, Skyylar Jordan, 4, gets a boost from her mother, Erika, while playing on the monkey bars at the Crossings Park, 1111 Crestdale Lane. Below, Sean Bauer, left, and Cristian Guzman play ball. Both were at the park with their mothers, Miranda Guzman, background at left, and Erin Bauer, background at right.

Last week my daughter and I were in the local paper (The Summerlin View). The photographer took some random shots of the Vegas Mommies group, we get together at various parks around town a few days a week. I wish she would have chosen a better picture but what cha' gonna do....

If

2008-04-21T15:53:00.006-05:00

What if?

What if you were a little girl.

What if you were a little girl and someone took you from your Mother?

How would you feel if you were snatched by people you didn't know, who told you you weren't safe in your own home? The place where you have always felt safe.

Told that, your parents were abusing you-but you have no idea what abuse is. All you know is your Momma and Daddy love you. Jesus loves you. As well as the rest of your extended family.

What if you never watched television, never played a video game or even thought to ask for a cell phone for your birthday?

You never had new clothes, only hand-me-downs from other family members, you always helped your Mom with the chores and made sure your sisters and brothers were fed and washed for bed. No makeup or pedicures for you or your Mom.

Do those things, or lack of things make you abused?

You ask: Why do you think I'm abused... Why can't I stay with my parents...Why must I sleep in some strangers house...Why?

Because your parents believe in a religion, all-be-it a way of life that's different from the rest of us.

POLYGAMY.

Never too much......How will I know?

2008-04-13T14:56:00.007-05:00

You haven't eaten in what seems like forever, you're starved-no you're ravenous. Everything around you looks and smells like heaven. Your nose is filled with the scents of your favorite foods, sweet potato's covered in sugary-sticky juices, the smoky- mesquite flavor of ribeye steaks float in from the open window. The tart and slightly charred taste of vegetables fresh off a charcoal grill begin to make your mouth water. Cakes and fruit pies still warm from the oven, waiting to be cut into. Everything you ever wanted is sitting there waiting for you to devour. Where do you begin? Do you start off slow with a little taste of this and a spoon full of that? Or, do you pile your plate high and heavy, letting you're inner fat girl show?

Someone next to you begins to pour you a tall glass of sweet tea-"just say when..."

There's your dilemma, how do you know when to say when? When is to much of a good thing just too much? Do you wait until the taste isn't as sweet and the smell isn't heavenly anymore? Until the smell is a little bit rank. Or do you take it slow and hope that there is still some left when you decide to go back.

When you've waited, for what seems like an entire lifetime to do something and the opportunity sits before you--so many opportunities-maybe too many-what do you do? All the old sayings swirl through your brain.

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth"

"Get it while the getting is good"

"You snooze you lose"

"Slow and steady wins the race"

"The straw that broke the camels back"

"When opportunity knocks...."

You don't want to say no. You need this chance because something else my not pan out. You want this chance because it's all you've ever wanted. However, by saying yes, yes, yes to all these opportunities you may end up selling yourself short. Overextending yourself to the point that it turns more into a job then a first love. Then, in turn, your talent suffers. It's not as good as everyone once thought. I mean, it's not bad--it's just not great!

On the other hand, if you don't push yourself, how will you know what you can do? Maybe you are capable of much more then you know. "Don't sell yourself short" they say. Just think how proud you would be of yourself, if you did it all, and did it well. How proud everyone would be.....

But if you failed......?....what would they say.....?....how would you feel....?...could you get back up...?..or would you be too tired....?....cause you ate too much fucking food.

Working for the Weekend

2008-04-11T12:34:00.005-05:00

Happy Friday!

You would think since I don't punch a clock or have regular nine to five, that Friday's wouldn't matter to me. Sometimes, they don't. Today for some reason it does. I can't put my finger on it but all I know is it's been a long week. I didn't do much blogging here this week but I plan to play catch up this weekend. I have had some great idea's for a few posts but since my wireless is having some sort of malfunc, I have to sit in one spot to work. That, I tell you, is a lot harder then it sounds for someone who is used to 'on location' writing. So for all my fellow bloggers or writers out there, my question to you is: Where do you blog/write?

On the potty, at the kitchen table, how about in bed or you a fancy blogger who uses their PDA to write your elegant prose?

You can even post anonymously, if you don't want your boss to know that you spend more time on blogger or wordpad then you do the company website.

Can't wait to read your answers!

BTW: Don't forget to stop by my shows.com blog and check out my interview with Frank Merino (see picture above), the headliner for Las Vegas' comedy show "La Cage".

There is a link in my sidebar under "Other spots you can find me".

I'm Coming Out....

2008-04-07T11:30:00.015-05:00

So I have decided to put myself out there.

A really good friend of mine, who seems to have connections to anything and everything gave me a list of freelance job postings to look over. Now, this wasn't the first time she has given me an ad for a writing position. She is always urging me to just send something in...put myself out there....give it a try. I have been hesitant mainly because I don't have any writing credentials. Nothing on my resume says writer. Loan officer?Yes. Waitress? Yes. Flight attendant? Yes again, but writer? Nope. Other then this blog, everything I have ever written is hidden in a folder or a box somewhere. Well I finally took her advice. I sent in some of my writing samples and a blurb about how great I am. These particular jobs were all for freelance positions. Which is exactly what I have been looking for, given the fact that I am of course The domestic diva extraordinaire. Anyhoo, the great news is I got one!

It's a small website called http://www.shows.com/ . They were looking for someone to blog about the entertainment aspect of Las Vegas. You know-who's playing where, the best shows, the whats happening in sin city kind of thing. I posted my first blog last Thursday and had planned to make an announcement here last week, but you know those demons....... So I decided to wait and make sure they still wanted me after I wrote it. Apparently they do. So there you have it I'm finally getting paid to blog. Who would have thunk it? A special thank you to Kanette, for giving me that gentle push that I so desperately need.

My articles should appear every Monday and Thursday under the blog section. So even if your not planing a trip to Vegas anytime soon, stop by and take a look to see what's going on.

Hint-Hint-I get paid for page views.

The pay is very, very, very modest but it's something, and I for one ain't complaining. I mean, I do this blog for free right?

New Friend Request

2008-04-02T00:00:00.004-05:00

I recently updated my page on Myspace.com. I have had a somewhat....okay all the way blank page with them for quite awhile, only really so I could keep up with a friend who is in Africa for the next few years. Other then that I didn't think much about it. Someone asked me recently why I didn't have a Myspace page and I didn't really have an answer I just never really liked it, plus I thought I was to old.

MySpace seems to appeal mostly to high school kids and other people who want to publicize their beef with "All those bytches that be hatin' on me cause they man won't stop callin' my cell".

Ghetto fab......with a capital G.

Moreover, there is just so much going on everywhere on the page. The obnoxiously busy backgrounds, bright colors and all that glitter. Just the way the screen scrolls but the background doesn't move is kind of weird. I think what is most irritating is the music. You click on someones page and WHAM! your speakers are blaring some obnoxious song. I keep my computer on mute when I go to Myspace now. Then there is the matter of your "friends". It seems like people have hundreds upon hundreds of "friends". Who are all these people and do they really know each other or are they just trying to make themselves look good? It's a popularity contest...better yet it's like high school all over again. Well I only have 18 friends so that must make me a loser....whatever.

But on the other hand, I have met a number of authors through the site. People who are both interesting and educated. I have "found" some friends from high school and some other's that could have stayed lost. Myspace, I have been told, is a great way to network so that's really my main purpose of using it. Plus, you have to admit it's a helluva lot better then blackplant...what happened to that site? I'm still trying to figure out how to feed my blog over to my page. so if you have any idea how that works please let me know. And when you get time drop by and take a looksy at my page and add me as your friend too :0

God Bless the American Housewife

2008-03-29T11:06:00.004-05:00

My husband texts me a message the other day.

"I had no idea I married such a sexist".

This of course didn't just come out of the blue. It stemmed from a small meltdown that I had moments earlier.

Since we moved here I have had to hook up the digital cable, the Internet, the new printer, program the universal remote and a bunch other stuff that I can't remember right now.

Normally these are all tasks that my husband would have taken care of but because of his absence I had to. So I bitched about it. I just don't have the patience and the universal remote was the proverbial straw. I was about ready to make him get on a plane and come fix it himself. That doesn't make me sexiest does it? More like a realist. I've never really considered myself a feminist. I'm certainly no bra burner. Some of what I think is wrong with this country stems from that whole feminist movement. That's a whole other topic and I'll save that for another time.

It's not that I don't know how to do these things because I do and what I don't know I can look up on the Internet. Which is what I did for the stupid remote.

But I'z married now! I say, I'z married now.

Look, I know it's not PC to say this but I know my place. And it's not out in the garage or tinkering with surround sound. Those are things that we do because we don't have someone else to do them for us. The cable company charges extra to come out and hook everything up and I'm to frugal to pay someone for something I know how to do, although I may not like it. I try to set a good example for my 3 girls and I want them to be strong independent women, as I'm sure they will be. They will know, like their mother does, how to change a tire. How to check the oil in their car, how to hook up their printer and wireless Internet. Just as well as they will know how to cook meatloaf, turnip greens and cornbread. I believe in self sufficiency but I also hope that if and when they get married they find a husband that can take care of that "man" stuff for them. I know some won't agree, that's fine, but I know their are a whole lot of women who won't say it but they sure do believe it.

I mean, I agreed to have the babies right?

Love of my Life...

2008-03-27T13:55:00.007-05:00

When I began this blog I had no expectations whatsoever. I wasn't even going to tell anyone I had one. It actually just slipped out one day in the midst of talking to a friend. I guess I started it just to get myself back in the habit of writing. How I had put the love of my life on the back burner is a mystery to me. Of course I have kids, and work and life but when you love to do something as much as I love writing how do you just not do it?

Demons.

The little bitty, green ones that have pointy horns on their heads. The kind that laugh in your face and cause your stomach to turn at the stench of their breath. The same ones that I tell child #2 they don't exist when she's in her room scared at night.

"But mommy their are monsters in my room, I can see them." she will cry.

"No honey, it's all in your head. Just close your eyes and dream of sweet things and all the wonderful things you want to do. Then the monsters won't be there."

I guess, maybe, I should take my own advice. We all have them in some form or another. That self deprecating voice that tells us we suck. It will never happen, your not a good_______(insert whatever you want here). It's all in our head. No one has ever told me I'm a sucky writer. To the contrary, I have been told by a few different people that they enjoy my writing. That's great right? Sure, but those little demons always seem to pop back up. Like those little heads that your supposed to hit with the big mallet in that game at Chuck-E-Cheese. They seem to counteract all those accolades by saying oh their just tying to be nice cause their your friend or their married to you. Which could be somewhat true. Then again, I've never been able to take a compliment, my self conscious/insecure self just can't do it. I'm sure it's the same for you, no one has told you you can't or you suck, it's you telling yourself that.

This blog has helped me overcome my fears a little just by posting my ramblings and such so that anybody can see it. That's a big step for me. I used to never want anyone to see anything I wrote and if I did then I would leave the room while they read it. Now I broadcast it in my email signature, "Come visit my blog.....", I put it on my Myspace page and I joined a blogger community -20something bloggers. All these strangers are looking at my writing and saying what? Who knows and who cares right? I mean of course I want people to like it -love it even, leave comments, add me to their blog roll but if they don't then oh well. This is more for me then anyone else. This is me kicking my demons in the face and saying -take that. Bitch-slapping them and telling them to leave me alone. I am superwoman and I can do anything.

So give your demons an open-hand-slap-in-the-mouth too, I know you'll feel better.

I do.

Motivation

2008-03-26T18:04:00.005-05:00

Sounds simple but it's so not. Especially for those who suffer from the genetic disease procrastinationitis. Yes folks, I have it and my current bought with it is extremely bad.

I just can't seem to get back on a schedule. We seemed to be doing o.k. when we first got here. But now the baby (AKA # last) is cutting her first tooth and is not seeming to enjoy the experience much. My 4 year old (AKA #2) has more energy then a 6 pack of red bull and seems to be extra needy lately. I'm sure it's due in part to the move and her lack of regular playmates. Plus, all this 80+ degree weather just makes her want to go to the park everyday. I swear we have been to the park more in the past 2 months then I have in the past 2 years. I'm starting to loathe the park. My oldest(AKA #1) is pretty self-sufficient and is gone most of the day at school but once I pick her up she has million and one questions and even more things to talk about. Of course her sister brags about going to the park all the time so then she wants to go to the park too. That's only fair right? She's had a long day at school she could use a little time to blow off some steam and play with her sister. This isn't a everyday thing but everyday it's something else. Let's add on to the fact that I need to make dinner, feed the baby, practice letters and handwriting with #2, go over homework with #1, clean up, take care of household affairs, shop for groceries.......ARRRG! So what do I let go of? The house cleaning? Oh sure let's not mop the floor and let baby crawl around and lick up the dirt. Don't go to the park? O.k. then the kids will just climb the walls and cry that they are sooo bored and then I still can't get any work done. Write at the park, you say? I've tried that but I spend so much time wiping snot, pushing swings, changing diapers and just plain making sure no one is looking at my kids to long that not much gets done. I don't want this to be a woe is me post about the trials and tribulations of being a domestic goddess but it does seems to be going that way now doesn't it....

O.K. so back to my original point. I have been coming up with all these ideas to write about and avenues in which to get published but I just have not had the energy to put forth much effort. Besides this blog, all I've written recently is a half done article about babies and planes, a book review, and a 2 pages of my book. I've tried staying up late but as anyone who knows me knows I am no night owl. I thought I was doing something by staying up till 11 last night. (don't laugh) I keep saying once this happens, or that changes, or my honey gets back I will be able to pursue my goals but I don't want to keep putting things off, that just makes my illness worse. You always hear about those writers who really wanted it. They worked 12 hour days and raised 4 kids and still found time to write that bestseller. They can kiss my ass. Maybe what I need is some vitamins or more exercise. That will give me more energy right? But then I have to find the time to go buy them and to do it. You know what-Woe-is-me damn it. I'm tired and frustrated and I need time to myself so that I can figure out how to get some time for myself.

Put it on paper...

2008-03-20T22:58:00.010-05:00

Somebody I barely remember asked someone else I used to know why I got married. The first time. My first response was none of their damn business. And it isn't. But it made me think why do people get married? Is marriage even necessary anymore?

Fifty years ago people got married because that's what you were supposed to do. If a girl was in the "family" way then the couple married. Under better circumstances a girl married after college or finishing school.

That was then, this is now. Plenty of people have children out of wed-lock. Some by choice others...not so much. Women have learned that they too can have a career and then have children with or without a husband. So why marry at all when it's almost mainstream not to?

Love. That's the first word that comes to mind. The fact that another person will forsake all others and pledge before God that they will love only you forever and ever. That's some heady shit. Sounds good too. Of course everyone wants that but do we have to marry to get it? Can't you just say those words to each other and go about your daily life without having to change your name or sign some papers? There are plenty of people in this country who have lived together for years and had better "unmarriages" then those who stand before God. I wonder why that is?
Take for example, celebrities Goldie Hawn and Kirk Russell, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon are all couples who have been together for a long time and don't look as though they will ever marry. Although, I can't say for sure cause I don't know them but they seem happy.

What about religion? Is that a main factor in people wanting to tie the knot? Do they feel if they don't then they will be damned to hell? Maybe.

There's always the whole cow and free milk scenario but let's face it, that milk has been free flowing for centuries.

What about security? What's yours is mine...If your spouse passes away you'll be taken care of right? That is as long as they have some sort of life insurance policy and a will. On the other hand if your spouse does something shady or illegal you can be held just as responsible for their actions, not so if you weren't married.

The words below are from the "Art of marriage". They're great words to live by and would arguably constitute a great foundation for a long and happy marriage. But on the flip side wouldn't it do the same for a long and happy "unmarriage"?

"The Art Of Marriage"by Wilferd A. Peterson
Compliments Of Erik & Beth Kent, Co-Publishers of NJWedding.comand founders of the Art of Marriage Foundation Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created.In the art of marriage the little things are the big things...

It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,it should continue through all the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.It is cultivating flexibility, patience,understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.
- by Wilferd Arlan Peterson (long version)

The point of the matter is this, I don't believe you have to get married to find your happily ever after but for me it has lead me there. Follow your heart not society's rule book.

And to answer the question: I got married for love. Both times. The difference between the first and the second is that this time I know what to do with it.

And all that Jazz...

2008-03-19T09:53:00.010-05:00

So if you remember back at the beginning of the year, I made some new years goals to help better myself. Well, I plan to do periodic check ups to see if I'm staying on track. But not today, we'll talk about that some other time. (How's that for procrastination)

Yesterday, me and the girls visited our local library. I don't know if I have mentioned this before but I really like the Clark county library system. They have plenty of activities for the kids and a large selection of goings-on for adults. The kids got to watch 'Shrek the third' yesterday while I perused the used bookstore area in peace. Also, starting in April they're doing an annual event called "Reading Las Vegas". It was developed, from my understanding, to encourage literary reading by asking entire communities to come together and discuss one book. This years book is F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby. It's set in the roaring 20's, during the "jazz age". I've always held an interest in that time period, with the Harlem renaissance, Women's suffrage, Prohibition....and wanting to get my hair in one of those flapper styles and wear the cute little tight fitting caps or wide brim ones that the ladies donned. Anyway, last year's selection was The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan. From what I hear she came out and did two standing room only appearances to discuss the book and her life. It sucks that I wasn't yet a resident of the valley because I would have loved to have met her. It would have also gave me an excuse to buy a red kimono (I really, really want one). The Joy Luck club is amongst my top 20 favorites. This Year they will have various writers workshops that I will definitely find someway to attend, a interactive murder mystery, dance lessons for the Charleston, Lindy bop and other popular 1920's dance steps and a host of other activities to fill the month of April. No author visit because well...he's dead. Has been for a long time. Oh, but I'm forgetting the best part. They give you the book for free to read! I heart free things, especially books. So I'm adding The Great Gatsby to my 'books to read in '08' reading list. This is good because I needed a few more classics on my list. I picked up War and Peace yesterday also. 1386 pages. Jeez, I wonder if I can get it on C.D. But is that reading? Or is that cheating? I have never listened to a book on tape/C.D./MP3 mainly because if the persons voice on the audio isn't just right then I don't think I would be able to stand it. It does seem quite convenient though. I could "read" and do other things simultaneously. Like clean the bathroom, knit, change diapers and the list keeps on going.... But on the other hand did I actually accomplish anything by listening to someone else read a book. Does that do anything for my ever diminishing brain cells or is it just the easy way out. Heck, I might as well just watch the movie version right? So if I set the goal of reading 50 books this year but I listen to 5 of them on audio will you still hold me in such high regard, as I know you all do.

I would love to hear your opinion on this.

Can We Talk?

2008-03-18T00:41:00.000-05:00

She said "Honey, why did you marry me?"

He said "Because I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world and I wanted you to be with me, always."

She said "Really, honey?"

He said " No, really I just thought you wanted to do it. It didn't make me any difference either way".

The above dialogue is fiction. But I'm sure somewhere, someone has had a conversation close to that one. Women in general ask a lot of questions. We want to know what your thinking, why your thinking it and how long you've felt that way. Why? Because we're gluttons for punishment. Sometimes we do ask to many questions. Want to know way more information then is needed. "But Erika!" you say. How can you say that! Don't you want to know what your husband is thinking? Don't you want to know how he feels about this or that?

Nope.

I used to but not so much anymore. If I have learned anything over the past 9+ years of our relationship is that somethings are better left unsaid. Perhaps less is more. I sometimes forget this bit of knowledge and end up regretting opening my mouth in the first place. For instance, this conversation did happen.

I said "Honey, how come it seems like we have less sex. Is it because I'm pregnant?

He said "I've just been tired"

I said "But honey, don't you find me attractive"? All the while rubbing my swollen belly.

He said "Your beautiful"

I said "A lot of men find pregnant women even more sexy".

He said "Oh, I see."

(Program note: see I should have ended the conversation at the "Your beautiful" part. But noooo I had to keep prodding. I wanted to know more. (shaking my head) big mistake. Now back to the conversation)

I said "Don't you think I look sexier all full of life and caring our child"?

He said "No, not really. I love you and I will always think your gorgeous but honestly? I look at you more like a vessel right now. Your carrying our child.......blah blah blah......

He goes on and on but all I hear is the word "VESSEL". Vessel, like a submarine or better yet the Goodyear blimp! "So you think I look like the Goodyear blimp"? And the argument begins.

My husband, a sweet, lovely man would never say I look like a submarine but because I wouldn't stop running my mouth and prodding him I ended up getting my feelings hurt. He meant that I was much more to him now and he had apprehensions about doin' the do the way we do while I was with child. But that point was moot to me. I was full of hormones and all sorts of pregnancy imbalances, basically, I was very unstable at this point so all I heard was fat, frumpy, unattractive, not sexy.....and the list goes on. I could have saved both of us a whole lot of trouble and time if I didn't insist on knowing what he knew would hurt my feelings. Knowing that he would never intentionally try to make me feel bad what I should have said was:

"Honey, can we have sex"?

He says "Yes"

See less is more.

Two Post Tuesday...must be your lucky day!

2008-03-18T00:00:00.003-05:00

I've been told I must have too much time on my hands to have time to keep a blog. I usually disagree but even I might change my mind after this one. Call me crazy but I just have to get this off my chest. I don't know if any of you have heard about or seen the commercial for "New chocolate skittles". That's right CHOCOLATE skittles. What the hell is a chocolate skittle? Umm... I don't know maybe a M&M with an "S" on it. Do we really need another small, round, chocolate candy? Was that all they could come up with as they sat around the brainstorming table? Are these people serious? Isn't their motto "Taste the rainbow". I ain't never seen brown in any rainbows around here. Since we're on the subject, those "Fruity Cheerios" bother me just as much. I get multi grain, apple cinnamon even frosted Cheerios's but fruity? That's just silly. I think a certain bird from the tropics has been the front man for a fruity, round, lifesaver shaped cereal for a very long time. If I were him I would tell them what they could follow...

Look, I know everyone is always looking for the next big thing but it seems as if someone in product development has really dropped the ball.

O.K. I'm done. I feel so much better now.

These are a few of my favorite things...

2008-03-17T11:17:00.007-05:00

Sunny Days

Thunderstorms-especially at night

600+ thread count sheets

Old Movies, especially black and white comedies and romances

Breakfast

Warm and fuzzy socks

Sunflowers

Big fat candles that smell like pie

Gerbera Daisy's

Big SUV's

Long hot showers

A good book

A funny blog

Good smelling laundry

Jeans that make my butt look as good as my husband thinks it does.

Wireless Internet
The sun on my back

Naps

Mahogany wood

Big Lots

Sales..better yet clearance items

Spellcheck

A good laugh that makes your eyes water and your nose run

Coffee with flavored cream

Thanksgiving and all the foods that go along with it

Chai Tea from Caribou coffee

Spring/Summer dresses

Club soda w/lime

Wheat Beer-i.e. Blue Moon (all 4 seasons), Hefeweizen etc..

Finishing a knitting project

Making love in the middle of the day with the windows open

My husbands sweet potato pie

Seeing my girls sleeping all curled up together

And you?

Desperate Housewives

2008-03-14T12:37:00.006-05:00

WARNING! I'm about to rant, so take cover.

Yesterday, I'm sitting, waiting on my 3rd grader to be dismissed from school as I do everyday. When, out of the corner of my eye I see this "parent" walking by. No, more like sashaying by. She was young, maybe in her early thirties but old enough to know better. She's wearing cut off jean shorts and a white husband beater. Sauntering directly past the drivers side window of my truck I couldn't help but be eye level with her non-bra covered kumquat sized nipples.

What the f*%*K is she thinking?!!

Her boobs were obviously fake but that's not my concern. My concern is this is an elementary school. Full of prepubescent boys who do not need to see those. The middle schoolers walk right past there also. Those boys already have sex on brain, they don't need a live visual aid on their way home from school. Although I don't have any son's my daughters don't need to see that crap either. I don't want them thinking it's appropriate for young ladies(especially Mom's) to go around looking like that. Now, I'm no prude and I like to look good too. I refuse to be one of those mom's that wear the frumpy sweaters with holiday appliques on them and "mom jeans". I have my fair share of hooker heels and low cut dresses in my closet too. I also have plenty of husband beaters in an array of colors but I DON'T WEAR THEM TO MY CHILD'S SCHOOL". Makes me wonder what she was thinking when she left her house. Was she on her way to an adult outing when she forgot she had to pick up her kid? Doubt it. I wonder how her son feels about the way his mom dresses. Kids have a hard enough time at school. Being liked, fitting in etc... Little "Pete"-(I don't know the kid's name so we'll just call him Pete for this posts sake") Little Pete doesn't need his classmates teasing him cause his Mom dresses like a skank. Or worse yet, Pete's best friend getting a little hard on from looking at his mommy. I won't even go into all the Dad's that had their mouths gaped open. Maybe they shouldn't but appearances say a lot about a person. I wouldn't want someone who thinks it's o.k. to dress that way at a school, volunteering in my child's classroom or on a field trip. It tells me that she's definitely not a "thinker". She could be the nicest, sweetest person in the world but her lack of common sense and courtesy is appalling.

I know what some of you are thinking, that's the price you pay for living in a city nicknamed "sin city". But it's not, there are many respectable people living here and the rest of Las Vegas is nothing like the strip. There are no neon lights flashing on my child's school. No Girls, Girls, Girls, signs next to my house. All that nonsense is far, far away. Besides this isn't an isolated event I've seen almost naked mom's in Michigan too. The bottom line is this. being a "Mom" doesn't mean you have to lose your identity. You can still be a sex pot or a hottie McHottkins if that's who you are. You just need to know the proper time and place to do it. And damn it! my kids school ain't it!

Come out, come out wherever you are...!

2008-03-11T00:30:00.007-05:00

I have been MIA for the past month or so. My computer has been on the fritz and I just got fed up with trying to type the same paragraph over and over again. I moved my blog to wordpress last week but I haven't got it looking the way I want it to. That's why I haven't invited anyone over there yet. (You know how it is when you've just moved into a new place and your not quite ready for visitors. Shit just laying around, box's still unopened let alone unpacked. Your html not working in your sidebar.....you know what I mean.) Now, I'm thinking of staying with blogger because I'm so damn comfortable with the workings of this site. I don't feel like learning new crap right now. The only thing is, some of my readers have a hard time trying to leave comments because they don't have blogger accounts or Google accounts. Wordpress is much more user friendly. Decisions- Decisions. I have also started a little book review blog where I will post my thoughts and opinions on all the books I read this year. March is reading month (at least in the elementary schools it is) so make sure you grab at least one book this month to fall in love with. Me? I'm still waiting on my copy of the new Jodi Picoult to arrive at my door step. Hey, Mr. Postman where are yooou? Here is a synopsis of the book if you haven't seen it already.

Synopsis:

Shay Bourne - New Hampshire’s first death row prisoner in 69 years – has only one last request: to donate his heart post-execution to the sister of his victim, who is looking for a transplant. Bourne says it’s the only way he can redeem himself…but with lethal injection as his form of execution, this is medically impossible. Enter Father Michael Wright, a young local priest. Called in as Shay’s spiritual advisor, he knows redemption has nothing to do with organ donation – and plans to convince Bourne. But then Bourne begins to perform miracles at the prison that are witnessed by officers, fellow inmates, and even Father Michael – and the media begins to call him a messiah. Could an unkempt, bipolar, convicted murderer be a savior? It seems highly unlikely, to the priest. Until he realizes that the things Shay says may not come from the Bible…but are, verbatim, from a gospel that the early Christian church rejected two thousand years ago…and that is still considered heresy.
Change Of Heart looks at the nature of organized religion and belief, and takes the reader behind the closely drawn curtains of America’s death penalty. Featuring the return of Ian Fletcher from Keeping Faith, it also asks whether religion and politics truly are separate in this country, or inextricably tangled. Does religion make us more tolerant, or less? Do we believe what we do because it’s right? Or because it’s too frightening to admit that we may not have the answers?

Catchin' Hell

2008-02-01T05:45:00.000-05:00

*****Bill and Hillary*****
*****James and Dina*****
*****Vanessa and Kobe***** *****Kwame and Carlita*****

Til' death do us part. In sickness and in health. Always and forever. To have and to hold from this day on....So many of us have said those words in some variation or another. Most of us meant them too.

But what happens when the shit actually hit's the fan? Do those vows really hold any value? What if your spouse cheats, then are all bets off? Do you forgive and forget? Can you? Is it really possible for a marraige to make it through a bout of infidelity? Most people's first reaction to the question what would you do if you caught your man/woman cheating is:

Oh, I would leave his/her behind if they ever..... Or, I would cut something very near and dear to them off.... Or, I would burn their stuff after I threw it out the window. All valid reactions really. I mean if someone breaks a promise to you that they made before God then you have the right to be heartbroken and have a moment of temporary insanity, right? Now, add to the fact that your man is in the public eye. A celebrity, Governor, Mayor or even the President. You not only have to deal with the pain and humiliation of being lied to and cheated on but now you have to stand there holding his hand looking all supportive while he apologizes to the whole world. Could you do it? Would you? All of these men made their wives look so dumb and foolish. Not because they "forgave" them but because they had to stand in front of friends and strangers looking like boo boo the fool. Putting all of their dirty laundry out for the world to talk about. Personally, I would have let them stand there by themselves. I know some maybe even all were forced to stand there for P.R. or political reasons. I don't believe any of them stood there because they wanted to. I don't believe any of these couples would still be together if they weren't in the spotlight. Well, the couple in the second picture James and Dina McGreevey are divorced but then again he also came out the closet. So why can't men-especially ones in the public eye keep it in their pants? (No, I don't think all men are cheaters but you don't see many press conferences with the shoe on the other foot do you?) You would think that they would be smarter about it and have more options then the average Joe. You know, pay someone to cover their tracks, get them a throw-a-way cell phone. (Yeah, I'm talking to you Kwame) I can't even fathom the conversations that these couples had behind closed doors. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall. Except, I probably would have got hit with a flying vase or shoe. Some think it's to much to expect one person to be faithful to another forever. Like monogomy is a four letter word or something. Others believe cheating is the ultimate sin and can never be forgiven. I guess it's just a matter of wether or not there is any trust left in the relationship. Does the couple that stays together love each other more then the one that dosn't? To me it would depend on if the cheater learned a lesson or just got caught? I think that makes a big difference on if you stay or go. If you can't look at the person without seeing a big red "A" on there forehead then chances are your marriage is over.

hoW DeEp is Your LoVe?

2008-01-31T13:10:00.000-05:00

In honor of Febuary being the month of L-O-V-E and my new residence in the wedding capital of the world. (See tacky picture above) I am devoting all of Febuary's posts to love, sex or relationships in some aspect. The good, the bad and the ugly if you will. I wasn't sure at first wether or not I would have enough to discuss for an entire month. But as a part of my new years resolutions I said I would strech myself and work outside my comfort zone. Originally I was refering to knitting but whatever. You may not hear from me towards the end of the month, my hubby will be in town and well...it is the month of love. If you have any idea's or topics feel free to let me know. I think this might be a good thing, having a theme for the month. March is reading month so I plan to discuss books, writers and such. That's as far in the year as I've gotten for now. Again, if you have any idea's let me know.

On a whole different note, I have a bit of a delima. If a kid comes over your house and breaks a very expensive gift that you got less then a month ago should the parent have to pay for it?

I guess I should explain. Apparently I have some distant cousins (like to the 5th power) living here in the vally. So in good spirit I invited them over and they brought their 11 month old twins along. That's fine, I like kids, most of the time anyway. What I don't like is when parents don't keep a watchful eye on them. Anyhoo, the little boy somehow ended up under my living room table and pulled down my digital picture frame. I saw it happining and made every effort to save it. Notice I said "I". No one else moved! But it hit the floor and that was that. Now it won't display any type of picture or even turn off. I was pissed to say the least. Not just because of the frame but more because it didn't seem to be a big deal to anyone but me. I saw no remorse or even a "I'm sorry" from either one of them. They didn't even move off the couch. Being a mother I know that children break things. Mine have broken plenty of things and other children have broken things of mine. I don't trip, but damn at least offer to replace it or something. It's just polite. As a matter of fact, whith kids that small you should be on the floor with them. Not sitting on the couch looking at them bang all over the fireplace glass. I want them to pay for it now. If only to teach them a lesson that YOU are responsible for EVERYTHING that your children do. You can't chalk everything up to "There just kids, or boys will be boys" No. you need to handle your kids. Maybe I'm just PMSing, you tell me. What would you do?

Breakaway

2008-01-28T14:34:00.000-05:00

What kind of books do you read?

Do you judge it by it's cover?

How about the authors name or picture on the back?

Do you stay in one particular section of the bookstore?

Yes, I expect answers to these questions.

As an aspiring to be published author I'm faced with the dilemma of what type of audience I want to appeal to. I know, I know, I'm supposed to write for myself. And I do but at the same time I would like to appeal to somebody else. At least a few others anyway. The publishing industry is notorious for typecasting. Black authors write black literature, women write chick lit, men write dick lit, you get my point. There are always exceptions to this rule. Nicholas Sparks for instance, he writes romance or love stories better then a lot of women. That's why all of his novels turned movies end up on Lifetime at some point. Maybe that's why some writer's choose to use pen names or alias'. In most of the stories I write I don't describe my character's by their race. I just don't say one way or the other. I mean why should I? Is it really that important? If I'm talking about race relations in America today or the 1960's civil rights movement, maybe. If I'm just writing a feel good novel about a few people doing some shit and messing it up, falling in love, fighting, crying, making love on long layovers and flying around on jumbo jets, do I really need to tell you that my main character is Black or Mixed or Asian? Maybe I'm way off base and people really do need to know. Whether it's so they can relate better to the story or get a clear picture in their mind of what this person is supposed to look like. I'm sure their are many more reasons I've never thought of, that's why I'm asking you. Don't get me wrong, I do give some description of course and leave it more for the reader to decide exactly what they look like. Personally, with it being a book and all I would rather use my imagination and decide myself what he/she looks like. If I want the work done for me I can just watch T.V.

I've been told I don't sound how I look. My name, it's also no dead give-a-way to my ethnicity (At least not my married one). So if I were to write a book and publish it where would they put it? Would that change if (gasp) they knew I was a black girl? I think it would. This does not mean I'm ashamed of being black. I'm not. In no way shape or form. Nor do I suggest anyone else should be. I just don't want to be type casted into a certain category. I don't want to end up in "African American Literature", which at first glace looks more like 'hood fiction. You have to dig deep in some of these stores just to find true African American Literature. In most cases if it's really literature it's in the classics section or elsewhere. I do not write about hood love or ghetto romance. None of my main characters ever have gold teeth or has lived through a drive by shooting. I've read my fair share of Ghetto Romance (only because I will try almost anything once) and I've seen what most of the covers of those books look like. Some aren't even that bad, it's just not me. So, because my picture is on the book jacket I will get stuck between " Why won't my baby Daddy marry me?" and Keisha Cole's autobiography? What kind of sales will I generate? How many people will miss out on a great book because of it's location? If you are honest with yourself, how many Chinese authors have you read? How many Caucasians do you see searching through the black lit section for a good read? The same amount you probably saw sitting in the movie theater watching "This Christmas". We see this everyday in Hollywood it's not a shock or something new. Black people get type casted into roles on TV and in Movies. I'm sure that Gabrielle Union could have played Cameron Diaz's role in "The Holiday" just as well if not better. But then folks it would have been a "black" movie. Gabrielle can't change what people see when they look at her and she can't not disclose what she looks like. As an author though, I have the ability or opportunity to breakaway. You don't have to know what color I am or my characters' in order to enjoy my books. At least I don't think so.

How to Save a Life

2008-01-26T03:51:00.000-05:00

As I know all of you have heard actor Heath Ledger died this week. Now, I wasn't really a fan or anything, I may have only seen one movie he was in and it wasn't even Brokeback Mountain. But his passing saddened me regardless. Not because we are the same age, or that his death may have been an accident.

I think the sadness is more for Michelle Williams-his ex-fiance/baby mama. I briefly saw her profile as she returned to her home with her 2 year old baby. So much sadness just in that half a second. Can you imagine? Not to long ago when everything was new. That first stolen glance. The giddiness that she felt the first time he whispered I love you in her ear. The thought, that I never want to be with out you. The joy they must have had the moment they found out they were going to have a baby. The dreams, plans, adventures planned. The butterflies he gave her every time he touched the nape of her neck. His smile, laugh, sneeze. Whatever little quirk he had that just did it for her. She loved him. No matter what broke them apart, I know the pain that she must be feeling has to be absolutely nauseating. Last moments haunting her. Words never spoken. Just catching your breath knowing that you will never feel it on his skin. I pray that he comes to her in her dreams and gives her the peace she needs. Answers the questions to calm her soul. I know my reaction comes from me realizing that every breath I take is connected to my husband. His heart is mine. His love is both physically and emotionally attached to me. It's like a leg, I don't think about the fact that I have one but it's there every time I need to stand up. With out it......

Events affect you differently at different times in your life. If this would have happened in 20 years then I guess I would be writing how I would feel if this was my child. But at this point I can't even go there. Refuse to. But the idea of raising my children alone, without them ever knowing just how much their father adored them is something that I can't begin to fathom either. I think it's one of my biggest fears in life. His daughter will have no memories of her own of him. That is the most tragic aspect of it all.

Dude, Where's my highspeed?

2008-01-19T15:48:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been a whirlwind of excitement for the past 10 days or so. I have so much to blog about I don't even know where to begin. Since the move I haven't had an Internet connection worth a plug nickel. Right now I'm using some wireless connection I picked up in the neighborhood. So until I get my own I have to sit still in the corner of my bedroom to pick up this signal. Believe me though, it's so worth it. I missed my cyberspace like a fat kid misses cake. What I think I will do is go back to my birthday and move forward from there. So I will backdate this blog so that things are in order. So you will have to look under this post to find a few new ones, that is until I catch up. So just remember patience is a virtue.

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs...

2008-01-08T16:16:00.000-05:00

Last week I decided to throw myself a It's-my-last-birthday-in-Michigan-but-hooray-I'm-not-turning-30-yet-going-away-party. (I looked for invitations in Hallmark but couldn't find that section.) I really just wanted a chance to see everyone one last time before I became a full fledged "Sin City" resident. The fact that it was my birthday was just kind of a coincidence. I chose Sweet Lorraine's downtown because of it's easy location and reasonable prices. Plus they had a wide variety of dishes to fit every one's eclectic tastes. Now I'm not going to make this a post where I rant and rave about what a suck ass restaurant it was but just for the record That PLACE SUCKED. The service sucked, the beer tap was out and the food was not all that. It has no place being listed under fine dining in the entertainment book. This just goes to show, always follow your first thought. We would have been filling our plates with pasta and spicy sausages at Bucca di beppo if the husband hadn't insisted I go elsewhere. Alright, I'm done now. This is supposed to be a happy post. Despite all the issues, I had a blast. I got a chance to see almost everyone before we hit the road. I forget sometimes that I don't some of you very often. I also learned just how many of you don't read this blog. Shame, shame, shame (shaking my head). It was quite obvious when someone thought we weren't moving until MAY! Hello? Shaneva, what rock have you been living under? It's bad enough some of you were unfamiliar with the knitting couture line. Maybe I need to send out a quarterly newsletter. My girl Tamika bought me a really good drink that I can't remember the name of..... peachy smeechy something or another. That's too bad that I can't remember the drink, seeing that it was one of the only good things about the restaurant. Thank you to Ms. Otay for the gift card to my favorite store, Kanette for the cash (of course we spent it on gas), Carol Ann for the sweater, and to everyone else who ordered a scarf from me! Anyway, I think I will let the pictures speak for themselves. If any of you have more pictures of that night please email me so I can post them here. Next year ladies Melissa suggested we go to Emeril's place here in the "V". So start making your plans now.
************************************************************************************

So where are these pictures you ask. Well I can't find the cord to connect the camera to the computer. So I will post them soon.......I think.
***********************UPDATE*************************************
So I still havn't found the camera cord but I did find pictures of last years birthday soiree. Since the gust list is almost exactly the same I figured I would put those pictures up. Even though none of us including me were knocked up this year. Thank goodness.

Ready or Not

2008-01-05T09:35:00.000-05:00

So it's the New year and everyone expects you to make some type of resolution. Be it lose weight, quit smoking, go back to school, stop cheating on your spouse...blah blah blah. I guess the start of a new year always makes one think and take stock of their accomplishments from the previous year. You look back and say what the heck did I do with all that time? 52 weeks, 365 days! OMG did I do anything remotely worth remembering?

Never really seems like it does it.

Especially when you look at a newborn baby. In 2008 Shy will have learned to walk, talk, sit herself up, eat with a spoon, grow teeth and turn over from her back to her belly. That's a lot for one year and these are skills she will use for the rest of her life. That makes me think, what skill(s) will I learn this year and use over and over again.? What scares me more then anything I guess, is that I will look up one day soon and be 30 and not have accomplished anything important. I won't be anywhere near where I thought or planed or wanted to be. I use to say that I don't make resolutions per se. Even though when I quit smoking 2 years ago it was on New Years day. Rather, I make a few small goals for myself. Which really is just a horse of another color, I guess. I think what I will do this year is post my goals er..resolutions here for the whole world to see ( or just the 6 or so people that I know who read this blog). That way I feel a bit more accountable for them. And I want you to remind me of that and say: "Hey girlfriend, I thought you were going to do such and such....?" So here goes:

1. Stop making excuses. This way when you confront me on not sticking to this list, I won't be able to worm my way out of it.
2. Finish my Novel.
3. Write Something Everyday.
4. Send out 20 inquires for my writing.
5. Go Back to school. again.
6. Learn to Sew. with my cute new sewing machine.
7. Appreciate what I have more. This includes my husband and children.

8. Start freelancing and get something published somewhere.

9. Knit something out of my comfort zone. Like a dress or a tank top.

10. Read 50 books.

11. Let shit go.

12. Exercise more. I started doing yoga and power walking last year and really enjoyed it.

13. Join a critique group.

Well there it is. I will probably add a few more things to list and these items are in no particular order. They are all important in some way to me. If I fulfill these goals in 2008 then I won't look back at this time next year and wonder what the heck I did. Now it's your turn. What are you going to do for you this year? Go ahead put it out there for the whole universe to see. I promise it won't hurt.

Good Luck.

Auld Lang Syne

2007-12-31T17:38:00.000-05:00

It's the end of yet another year. I don't feel any older, and I sure don't look any older. But there is no denying that I am. Older. Reflecting back on 2007 I am grateful for so many things:

- I have one more child then I did this time last year.

- I've lost almost all 55 lbs I gained from my angel child.

- I have a new home that I will be moving into in less then 12 days.

- That home won't have any snow around it.

- I'm healthy

- I learned to knit.

- I started my book.

- No one close to me that I love died. I couldn't say that in 2005 or 2006.

- And just yesterday I realized for the first time that I am so very, very lucky. I have some amazing friends and family. I have never had to be alone if I didn't want to be and I trust them. Unequivocally. I trust that my friends will not betray me, turn their back or intentionally lie. It's the most important characteristic to have in a friend or anyone. I'm so loved.

The saying "don't sweat the small stuff" is easier said then done. Things don't seem so small when your mad about them. It's later, when you try to explain it, that it sounds silly. You can't even really explain why you were so mad or even if you can, chances are there's nothing you can do about it now. So let go. That for me is one of the hardest things to do. (I can hold a grudge just ask my husband.) but it's a necessary thing, if you want to be happy. You certainly can't go into a new year, let alone a new state with a monkey on your back. So I'm over it. It's done and I can't begrudge anyone or any event any longer. That doesn't mean I forget or don't care it just means I have to move on. The best is yet to come.

Goodbye 2007. Hello 2008

Happy New Year!

Funny Link

2007-12-31T17:33:00.000-05:00

I didn't know how to post in the video format so you will just have to cut and paste or click on the link if you can. any of my old co-workers will really get a kick out of the first part.

http://inthemotherhood.msn.com/Default.aspx?source=email&videoID=3

Enjoy

The 12 Bars of Christmas

2007-12-28T18:23:00.000-05:00

A good friend from my high school days, Erica came home from the Peace Corps for Christmas. She celebrated her homecoming by commissioning a pub crawl for her return. Erica has been in Africa, more specifically Berkina Faso helping the locals start their own businesses and utilize the resources they have available. It's been over a year since she left and already her mind and attitude and just everyday way of thinking has changed. The experience would humble anyone I think. Check out her blog it's linked on the right under "My Peep hole". You can can read all about her adventures and exciting projects. I told her I'm so jealous that I didn't think to go to the Peace corps right out of high school. It would have been an amazing experience. I hope maybe one of my kids will want to do something to the effect.

Anyway, back to the important part. The crawl. If you've never been on one then it's a must for your 2008 to do list. You (and a group of friends hopefully, alone you just look like a lost drunk) start at one bar or pub and drink for 45 minutes or so then you walk on to the next bar. Obviously, you want to be a place that has a few bars close together. Usually these crawls have a theme. Ours was the 12 bars of Christmas. So you guessed it, we planed to hit 12 bars in Royal Oak all while walking in 25 degree Michigan weather, singing Christmas carols. Yes, we had to sing while we walked on to the next watering hole. "Come all ye faithful", "Let it snow" and "Hark the Herald angels " were sung all while donning very festive Santa hats and ugly sweaters. Strangely enough we didn't sing the 12 days of Christmas. I only made it to bar #10 but that was 2 more then the goal I set. So that makes like an overachiever of sorts. Besides I told my babysitter I would get home before midnight and by bar #10 the momentum of the group had died down. I drank a few pints Winter Ale, siped a Chocolate Martini, downed a really strong Margarita, did a couple shots of Red Headed Sluts and Buttery Nipples and I didn't get sick. Man, even after 3 kids this housewife's still got it.

The Countdown to D-Day Begins.

2007-12-26T11:32:00.000-05:00

T minus 14 to lift off. With 2 weeks left in Detroit I'm starting to feel the pressure.

We still have a ton of packing to do, organizing to finish and I have loads of stuff still to sell on www.craigslist.org I've mapped out our route and according to yahoo it will take us 32 hours. Of course, that doesn't include stopping for potty breaks, diaper changes, eating, resting etc... With 3 kids we are giving ourselves 3 days. I don't think that's asking too much. Plus, I just know this will give me some excellent writing material for a book. That is at the top of my goal list for 2008.

A very special thank you to my Mommy Pam for the great Christmas presents for the kids. I will be forever grateful for her and the love she has given to me and my family. She took us in so to speak when I needed a Mom for me and a Grandmother for my kids. I will love her forever for it. Well that's a whole other post entirely. Anyway, she got the girls some great activity items they can use while we are driving down the 44. Enough to keep them busy and us sane... I hope. My oldest is learning to knit as well so maybe she will make something beautiful along the way. I of course will have my knitting to keep my hands busy I also plan to take a book or two. Check out my other blog for what will be on the needles while I'm on the road. Next week I'm having a birthday dinner with a few friends. So I can get a chance to see everyone at least one more time before I go. I will miss my friends dearly but hopefully they will come and visit and I will of course get back here from time to time. I know there will be people that will fall away, it's just a natural progression in life. I just hope it won't hurt to much when they do. I told my oldest this when she admitted how nervous she was about moving. But she will surely make new friends as well as I. In the meantime we will have to be each other's best friend.

Enough Already! #@%$^!

2007-12-17T11:56:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite pastimes besides knitting, reading, writing and shopping of course is watching television.

I love T.V. and I'm not afraid to admit that. I especially love to knit while watching T.V. (Makes me feel less guilty for watching so much) But the higher powers that be are impeding on my T.V./knitting time. There are these high powered executives out in L.A. who refuse to give writers a cut of the Internet and down loadable episodes of their shows. That they wrote! The fat cats in Hollywood need to stop and think and not be so damned greedy.

Here are the facts as I've been told:

-Writers now get about $0.04 per $20 DVD sold. They live off these residuals during down times throughout the year.

-They are only paid during the season of the show that they are working on. So say in the summer when we're all watching repeat episodes of Grey's Anatomy, the writers are living off only the DVD sales of the show.

-These writers also don't get paid nearly what I thought they would. I mean come on, a show like Grey's or E.R. where the actors get hundreds of thousands of dollars per episode, the brains behind the wit barley get a fraction of that. I read somewhere that "the writers are like the line workers of the industry." Living here in the "Motor city" I understand that statement very well. I especially feel bad because I love watching my favorite shows online. There are less commercials and I don't have to be upset if I missed a new episode. I will just watch it the next day online. Very convenient. I assumed everyone would still be getting paid for this convenience. There are at least 5- 30 second commercials and a sponsor logo at the top of the show for pete's sake. So who gets that money I wonder......

Having been in a union myself, I respect the strike and will keep my fingers crossed that they come to a fair agreement soon. Men in Trees, Grey's and Desperate housewives were all getting so good. In the meantime I will just watch my DVDs. Below is a link to 2 of my favorite writers take on the strike.

The Latina (L)it Girl: The Writers Guild Strike

http://jenniferweiner.blogspot.com/2007/11/as-d-day-approaches-we-have-been-making.html

Hello My Name is Erika W. and I'm a Yarn Addict

2007-12-14T18:20:00.000-05:00

Here are some pictures of my stash

And some more...

And a little more...

The first step to recovery is admitting there is a problem. Well I did that. Now what? Is there a 12 step program for yarnaholics? Oh I know, a pill I can take, or maybe a reality t.v. show I can go on to work all my issues out in front of the entire human population. You know what, there probably is.

Well, I think I will just go with the good ole' American way and blame it on someone else.

SARA.

Yup it's all your fault. I watched you. In the crew lounge always throwing that yarn. Showing off all your shiny needles and using your fancy knitting talk.

"Oh I'm going to purl this row, then knit the next...."

"It's so hard when you drop a stitch..."Blah, blah, blah....

You made it look so enticing, sooo soothing and relaxing. To be able to sit in solitude and work on your own private project and drown out the noise of the airport. Looked like heaven to me.

So I begged and pleaded. "Oh please, please show me how you work your magic."

"I want to join your club".

"Be a knitter".

You didn't warn me how I would find any excuse to go to a yarn store. How I would want to knit in the early morning and then again late into the night. Carry around with me projects to the doctor's office, dentist, in the car while I waited to pick up the kids. Nope. She didn't tell me how many different types of needles and yarns there were. How I could accessorize with cute bags and caring cases. Or how I would print out pages and pages of projects I would want to do. Damn it! I'm out of ink again! Why Sara? why? You should have warned me that this would happen.

But now it's to late.

Let this post be a warning to the next knitter wanna be.

Well, I think that's how it happened anyway. It's all kind of a blur....

BTW Check out her blog under "My Peep Hole"- Curiouser and curiouser! or here: http://qu33nsara.blogspot.com/

Her forecast is bad ass. Sara you rock.

It's Ladies Night

2007-12-13T13:33:00.000-05:00

A post or so ago I told you that a woman named Melissa offered to display and sell my scarves at her boutique after seeing them at the mom to mom sale. Well, she had a special after hours affair last Thursday at her store and it seemed to go pretty well. I must say she did display my scarves very nicely. I felt like a real designer or something. Now I just got to get some people to buy them. Her store has some really cool stuff in it. She has everything from jeans to baby items, vases, dishes, books, purses and did I mention some really snazzy scarves. The place is small so you would think with all that stuff it would be crowded or cluttered but it isn't. It's actually very neat and tidy but in a eclectic way. It reminds me of the bed and breakfast that my husband and I were married at (without the beds and breakfast). Just a very comfortable place to go and shop with friends. She's holding another event tonight and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my scarves are sold out. I'll keep you updated.

Viva Las Vegas

2007-12-12T18:03:00.000-05:00

The husband and I just touched down back at DTW a few hours ago and I feel like I'm still flying. Now it could be the beer from the many beverage services that our wonderful flight attendants ran or the fact that our moving to Las Vegas is finally starting to feel real. Even with some slight bumps along to way our trip was a major success.

We found a house! It's in a great area with a school for the girls less then 4 minutes away. Even better there is a Big Lot's just as close! Anybody who knows me knows my obsession with Big Lots, especially since I've been finding some great yarn there for a buck or less. I mean yarn that I found at a leading craft store for $8 a ball was only $1 at Big Lot's! How can you not love that?! Sorry, I digress, the trip started out with an ice storm looming over the Midwest. Six inches of freezing rain was expected so I called the airline and spoke to someone I believe was not even in this country and told him my dilemma and he moved our flight up 7 hours without a problem. We got to the airport after dropping 2 of the girls at their "vacation homes" and got through security without a hitch. If you've ever gone through airport security with a infant and all her gear then you know that's not a small feat. I'm not kidding when I say we used at least 10 of those grey bins to hold all our stuff. Laptops, coats, shoes, the quart sized Ziploc bag of liquids that are allowed on the plane, bottles, car seat and stroller well you get my point. The plane was late getting into DTW due to weather so we were 2 hours late getting out to Vegas. The rental car company gave us shit about our coupon and the hotel http://www.excalibur.com/landing/2007/?CMP=KNC-Google-Excalibur_Corp had it's own set of issues. Since it took us so long to get our stuff together we lost a half day of house hunting. I thought that would be detrimental but it turned out to not be such a problem. The weather was great, to us anyway. The weatherman kept talking about how cold it was outside and not to go out unless you had to. It was 54 degrees for heavens sake. I hope I don't become that much of a sissy when we become full time "Las Vegans". Regardless, we drove around all day Monday covering most of the city looking at townhouses, condos and single family homes. When we finally came across this beauty we knew we had found our new home. It was love at first sight. My husband even got the price knocked down. As I said the house is in a great location about 25 minutes from the strip. That's close enough for me. There are great views of the mountains on all sides from the street. If it was a two story home then we could probably see them from the house but oh well. I could say plenty more but honestly I'm beat. I'm going to go to sleep tonight Las Vegas dreamin........I can't wait. I just can't wait!

My First Sale

2007-12-04T12:30:00.000-05:00

This past weekend a friend and I attended a Mom to Mom sale. If you are at all unfamiliar with one then I will explain briefly. It's sort of like a swap meet or indoor garage sale. Moms (and Dads) try to sell all their children's gently used items. Some also sell crafts and such. My friend had quite an array of baby items she wanted to sell. From bottles to a travel swing. I wanted to also sell some baby items and leftover Avon products from my very short career as a sales Representative this year. Although, my main objective was to sell my scarves. Since I began knitting I found that I really enjoy it and someone (Ms. Otay) put a little bug in my ear and said I should start trying to sell them. So, I made 8 scarves and a few other things and sat them out with my fancy sign that I made the night before (see picture) and kept my fingers crossed. And you know what? I sold 7 of them!

Woohoo!!!

Yippie!

Go me!

O.K. I'm done now.

Well technically I sold 6 and a cute little girl bartered the 7th one out of me. I'm always a sucker for a cute and spunky child. I'm still kicking myself for not getting her name. I did take her picture modeling one of my creations though. Getting on to the best part, a lovely woman by the name of Melissa thought so much of my scarves and fine craftsmanship (my words not hers) that she asked if I wanted to display them in her store. Second Glance boutique and resale shop located in Harper Woods, MI. Of course I jumped at the chance. She wanted 20 or so by Thursday but the most I could do was 11. Not bad, I think for 4 days.

All in all I think it was well worth the 20 bucks I paid for the table space at the mom to mom sale.

I Love My Husband

2007-11-20T16:22:00.000-05:00

Now this happened a little over a year ago, but it's still a cute story.

My hubby, the love of my life, the father of my children, the most romantic man ever; Surprised me with a trip to Barnes and Noble. Not just any trip but a special one that included me meeting one of my favorite authors. He arranged for a babysitter and said we were going out. But I didn't have to get dressed up. So I figured we were going to grab a bite to eat or catch a movie. The thing is we drove for what seemed to be a really long time. Why go this far for casual dining? What time do we need to get back to pick up the girls? Are we going to the movies? Are we there yet? I asked. He just just said ever so politely to shut my piehole. Apparently, I sounded like one of the kids. So we arrived at the book store but he parked in front of the TJMaxx I think? (remember this was a year ago). So I got all excited that my man is taking me shopping. All shoot now.. I'm about to get some new boots, a couple pair of jeans, a sweater, a purse, some sexy things...my mind was running up our visa before my foot hit the ground. But he grabbed my hand and headed in the opposite direction. "The bookstore?" I said. Now don't get it twisted, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE books but when I start thinking about new clothes books just don't sound like so much fun. As we walked in the door I saw a line wrapped around the store twice over. Then I saw the sign:

Nicholas Sparks book signing tonight!

Oh wow. And look! What does my love have in his hand but a brand new copy of the "Notebook" and the DVD too. I tell you even now, a year later, I still smile when I think of this wonderful night. Thus the title: I Love my husband.

I have a link to his website under "Books to read in 2008"

The last picture is of another fan who was in line behind us. She brought her pet snake to meet Nicholas Sparks. The snakes name was "Ally" like in the book.

A Resolution of sorts

2007-11-18T10:19:00.000-05:00

As any one who has ever comes across this blog can tell I don't post much. It started out as this great idea, a way to get me to write something everyday. So what happened you may ask. I dunno I was busy, nervous of who might see it, just plain lazy I guess....that's the best I can come up with at the moment.

No more excuses now, I'm going to post at least 3 days a week. It may be babble and it may be boring but I will write something.
I will start with my new love: Knitting. Scarves are all that I've done thus far but I have throw pattern that has been calling my name. My obsession with yarn and all the knitting accessories that I just must have.

I do love to accessorize.

I will also document my trials and tribulations of trying to relocate my family from Detroit to Las Vegas. 3 kids, a husband and my knitting needles on the road to Paradise. I can't wait.

2007-02-06T10:01:00.001-05:00

Seasons change....but why must the weather?

2007-02-01T21:16:00.000-05:00

I hate change.

I'm the type of person who needs that constant "y" in her life. I don't change my style of dress much from year to year. Or my hair for that matter. I hate most of the new "it styles" anyway. Take for instance those stupid skinny jeans. A girl can barley get her feet in them and once you do, look down and your feet-- well they look huge. Leggings should have stayed in the 80's/early 90's. Next thing you know men will be walking around in those little bitty athletic shorts. You know the ones from the 80's that looked like a surprise may pop out at any moment. (Crinkle nose and shudder) Anywho....

You wouldn't think that change would be that big of a deal, seeing how many times I've moved in my short adult life. And you don't realize just how many times that is until you fill out an application for a job or mortgage that requires you list your last known address for the past 10 years. I always need to ask for an extra piece of paper to complete this task.

I use to be embarrassed by this lack of stability but hello... I was young and I had issues-- (roommate issues x 2, landlord issues x 2, boyfriend issues x infinity), so get over it.

In spite of my need for stability, the hubby and I are thinking very seriously of doing it again and soon. The husband, he is a nomad of sorts. Has never stayed in one place (read: state) for more then a few years. I have kept him in Michigan for 8 years! (a world record for him). So moving to him is like riding a bike. Sometimes I'm not sure if I was holding him back by keeping in the same state for so long or helping him create some since of home. You know, supplying him with the opportunity to plant some roots. That sounds much better. Roots or not sometimes you must take stock of what you have and where you want to be.

Alas, our time has come. So we look to the west, warmer climates that stay constant for the majority of the year. Sunshine on top of more sunshine on top of cloudless days. Oh and no snow damn it.

Sounds great to me!

So you wanna know what's so funny about this post? When I began writing it it had nothing to do with our impending trek to the west. Nope, I was just upset because my Caribou coffee is no longer selling cinnamon biscotti. Something I find to be a necessity to go along with my large soy chai latte. Humph. I hate change.

My first blog

2006-09-17T15:05:00.000-05:00

Well ladies and gentleman this is it. The moment I have been waiting for. I finally have a place where I can stand on my soapbox and shout from every roof top about everything that I love, gets on my nerves, pisses me off, blah blah blah. I have yet to figure out what I want anyone if anybody to get out of this blog. It's more or less a place for me to practice my writing. Small projects that will lead up to the big one. My first finished novel.