As a mother of three I have witnessed my share of name-calling, bickering and immaturity. As a newbie into the culture of the “stay at home mommy club” I was, to say the least surprised that most of the culprits have been other mothers. Raising children is hard, that pretty much goes without saying, however, my personal feeling is that we make it so much harder then it has to be. We judge each other on how we feed, interact, teach and discipline them. Should I breast feed or use a bottle? When is the best time to start solid foods? Should I vaccinate my children? Is your way better then mine? These are all questions that run tirelessly through a new mothers head. There is so much information out there via television, news reports and parenting magazines telling us how to raise healthy, happy kids that it can feel somewhat overwhelming.
So you ask your fellow mommy at the park what type of parenting plan there on. This is where it can get ugly with the name calling and snarky remarks. One mother will believe that spanking is a necessary part of the discipline process and another will call it child abuse. Mommy number two will tell you the only way to give your kids proper nutrition is to breast feed until they’re five. While someone in the background will whisper how gross that is. Is spanking okay? Can I give my kid a bottle of Enfamil and know that she will be as smart as the rest of her class? Those questions can only be answered by the mother if at all. However, judging other mothers because they parent differently then you is not showing your own children how to treat a friend.
Believing that there is only one way to raise a child to become a productive citizen is a mistake. Maybe your way is better for you and my way is better for me and my children.
Everyone wants the best but the best isn’t being shown when we argue in front of our kids over who is better. We go out of our way to show our children how to share and use their manners but then turn around and become flippant with a mom who doesn’t see things our way. Support from our fellow mom is, in my biased opinion, the only way to raise children. As a community, mothers need to unite and educate each other so that all our children, whether cloth diapered or not can be the best they can be.
Everyone wants the best but the best isn’t being shown when we argue in front of our kids over who is better. We go out of our way to show our children how to share and use their manners but then turn around and become flippant with a mom who doesn’t see things our way. Support from our fellow mom is, in my biased opinion, the only way to raise children. As a community, mothers need to unite and educate each other so that all our children, whether cloth diapered or not can be the best they can be.
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4 comments:
I agree, the best way to raise a child (especially nowadays) is for all mothers and all father to come together for that one common cause - the welfare and betterment of children.
Which gets back to the old earthed notion that it takes an entire village to raise a child. As it does, and that much is evident by the complete lawfulness which we witness day in and day out.
Good post, Ms. Erika. I don't know why you make your loyal readers wait so long before you finally decide to fire up the ink pen, add seasoning, and feed our soul.
*rubs stomach*
Maybe you can start a trend? If they see how you behave in not judging then they'll pick it up and stop the judging too?
I know, highly unlikely. But it's kinda sad that much judging goes on about raising one's children. I wonder if it was like this when our moms (and dads) were raising us.
I don't have children but when I do I know that I will not spank them.Does this mean my child will end up on America's Most wanted? NO...My mother did not spank us she would YELL!!!!....LOL....I agree with you instead of being judgemental mothers should try to listen and learn from one another instead of trying to be Mrs.Right all the time.What's most important is that your child feels loved and is well taken care of.
Great minds talk about ideas.
Small minds talk about other people.
I've been "small minded" and when I got a life, I put away childish things.
The only cure for gossipy mothers, is something better to talk about than each other.
I've found that most SAHM's I've run into don't read the paper, keep up with local politics or do much else.
I have tried to network with other homeschooling parents but they have so far proven to have limited interests.
I'm sure I'll find some "big thinkers" somewhere.
I feel this....
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