Thursday, January 31, 2008

hoW DeEp is Your LoVe?



In honor of Febuary being the month of L-O-V-E and my new residence in the wedding capital of the world. (See tacky picture above) I am devoting all of Febuary's posts to love, sex or relationships in some aspect. The good, the bad and the ugly if you will. I wasn't sure at first wether or not I would have enough to discuss for an entire month. But as a part of my new years resolutions I said I would strech myself and work outside my comfort zone. Originally I was refering to knitting but whatever. You may not hear from me towards the end of the month, my hubby will be in town and well...it is the month of love. If you have any idea's or topics feel free to let me know. I think this might be a good thing, having a theme for the month. March is reading month so I plan to discuss books, writers and such. That's as far in the year as I've gotten for now. Again, if you have any idea's let me know.


On a whole different note, I have a bit of a delima. If a kid comes over your house and breaks a very expensive gift that you got less then a month ago should the parent have to pay for it?


I guess I should explain. Apparently I have some distant cousins (like to the 5th power) living here in the vally. So in good spirit I invited them over and they brought their 11 month old twins along. That's fine, I like kids, most of the time anyway. What I don't like is when parents don't keep a watchful eye on them. Anyhoo, the little boy somehow ended up under my living room table and pulled down my digital picture frame. I saw it happining and made every effort to save it. Notice I said "I". No one else moved! But it hit the floor and that was that. Now it won't display any type of picture or even turn off. I was pissed to say the least. Not just because of the frame but more because it didn't seem to be a big deal to anyone but me. I saw no remorse or even a "I'm sorry" from either one of them. They didn't even move off the couch. Being a mother I know that children break things. Mine have broken plenty of things and other children have broken things of mine. I don't trip, but damn at least offer to replace it or something. It's just polite. As a matter of fact, whith kids that small you should be on the floor with them. Not sitting on the couch looking at them bang all over the fireplace glass. I want them to pay for it now. If only to teach them a lesson that YOU are responsible for EVERYTHING that your children do. You can't chalk everything up to "There just kids, or boys will be boys" No. you need to handle your kids. Maybe I'm just PMSing, you tell me. What would you do?

Monday, January 28, 2008

Breakaway




What kind of books do you read?






Do you judge it by it's cover?






How about the authors name or picture on the back?






Do you stay in one particular section of the bookstore?






Yes, I expect answers to these questions.






As an aspiring to be published author I'm faced with the dilemma of what type of audience I want to appeal to. I know, I know, I'm supposed to write for myself. And I do but at the same time I would like to appeal to somebody else. At least a few others anyway. The publishing industry is notorious for typecasting. Black authors write black literature, women write chick lit, men write dick lit, you get my point. There are always exceptions to this rule. Nicholas Sparks for instance, he writes romance or love stories better then a lot of women. That's why all of his novels turned movies end up on Lifetime at some point. Maybe that's why some writer's choose to use pen names or alias'. In most of the stories I write I don't describe my character's by their race. I just don't say one way or the other. I mean why should I? Is it really that important? If I'm talking about race relations in America today or the 1960's civil rights movement, maybe. If I'm just writing a feel good novel about a few people doing some shit and messing it up, falling in love, fighting, crying, making love on long layovers and flying around on jumbo jets, do I really need to tell you that my main character is Black or Mixed or Asian? Maybe I'm way off base and people really do need to know. Whether it's so they can relate better to the story or get a clear picture in their mind of what this person is supposed to look like. I'm sure their are many more reasons I've never thought of, that's why I'm asking you. Don't get me wrong, I do give some description of course and leave it more for the reader to decide exactly what they look like. Personally, with it being a book and all I would rather use my imagination and decide myself what he/she looks like. If I want the work done for me I can just watch T.V.






I've been told I don't sound how I look. My name, it's also no dead give-a-way to my ethnicity (At least not my married one). So if I were to write a book and publish it where would they put it? Would that change if (gasp) they knew I was a black girl? I think it would. This does not mean I'm ashamed of being black. I'm not. In no way shape or form. Nor do I suggest anyone else should be. I just don't want to be type casted into a certain category. I don't want to end up in "African American Literature", which at first glace looks more like 'hood fiction. You have to dig deep in some of these stores just to find true African American Literature. In most cases if it's really literature it's in the classics section or elsewhere. I do not write about hood love or ghetto romance. None of my main characters ever have gold teeth or has lived through a drive by shooting. I've read my fair share of Ghetto Romance (only because I will try almost anything once) and I've seen what most of the covers of those books look like. Some aren't even that bad, it's just not me. So, because my picture is on the book jacket I will get stuck between " Why won't my baby Daddy marry me?" and Keisha Cole's autobiography? What kind of sales will I generate? How many people will miss out on a great book because of it's location? If you are honest with yourself, how many Chinese authors have you read? How many Caucasians do you see searching through the black lit section for a good read? The same amount you probably saw sitting in the movie theater watching "This Christmas". We see this everyday in Hollywood it's not a shock or something new. Black people get type casted into roles on TV and in Movies. I'm sure that Gabrielle Union could have played Cameron Diaz's role in "The Holiday" just as well if not better. But then folks it would have been a "black" movie. Gabrielle can't change what people see when they look at her and she can't not disclose what she looks like. As an author though, I have the ability or opportunity to breakaway. You don't have to know what color I am or my characters' in order to enjoy my books. At least I don't think so.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

How to Save a Life


As I know all of you have heard actor Heath Ledger died this week. Now, I wasn't really a fan or anything, I may have only seen one movie he was in and it wasn't even Brokeback Mountain. But his passing saddened me regardless. Not because we are the same age, or that his death may have been an accident.

I think the sadness is more for Michelle Williams-his ex-fiance/baby mama. I briefly saw her profile as she returned to her home with her 2 year old baby. So much sadness just in that half a second. Can you imagine? Not to long ago when everything was new. That first stolen glance. The giddiness that she felt the first time he whispered I love you in her ear. The thought, that I never want to be with out you. The joy they must have had the moment they found out they were going to have a baby. The dreams, plans, adventures planned. The butterflies he gave her every time he touched the nape of her neck. His smile, laugh, sneeze. Whatever little quirk he had that just did it for her. She loved him. No matter what broke them apart, I know the pain that she must be feeling has to be absolutely nauseating. Last moments haunting her. Words never spoken. Just catching your breath knowing that you will never feel it on his skin. I pray that he comes to her in her dreams and gives her the peace she needs. Answers the questions to calm her soul. I know my reaction comes from me realizing that every breath I take is connected to my husband. His heart is mine. His love is both physically and emotionally attached to me. It's like a leg, I don't think about the fact that I have one but it's there every time I need to stand up. With out it......

Events affect you differently at different times in your life. If this would have happened in 20 years then I guess I would be writing how I would feel if this was my child. But at this point I can't even go there. Refuse to. But the idea of raising my children alone, without them ever knowing just how much their father adored them is something that I can't begin to fathom either. I think it's one of my biggest fears in life. His daughter will have no memories of her own of him. That is the most tragic aspect of it all.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Dude, Where's my highspeed?


Wow, it's been a whirlwind of excitement for the past 10 days or so. I have so much to blog about I don't even know where to begin. Since the move I haven't had an Internet connection worth a plug nickel. Right now I'm using some wireless connection I picked up in the neighborhood. So until I get my own I have to sit still in the corner of my bedroom to pick up this signal. Believe me though, it's so worth it. I missed my cyberspace like a fat kid misses cake. What I think I will do is go back to my birthday and move forward from there. So I will backdate this blog so that things are in order. So you will have to look under this post to find a few new ones, that is until I catch up. So just remember patience is a virtue.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs...






Last week I decided to throw myself a It's-my-last-birthday-in-Michigan-but-hooray-I'm-not-turning-30-yet-going-away-party. (I looked for invitations in Hallmark but couldn't find that section.) I really just wanted a chance to see everyone one last time before I became a full fledged "Sin City" resident. The fact that it was my birthday was just kind of a coincidence. I chose Sweet Lorraine's downtown because of it's easy location and reasonable prices. Plus they had a wide variety of dishes to fit every one's eclectic tastes. Now I'm not going to make this a post where I rant and rave about what a suck ass restaurant it was but just for the record That PLACE SUCKED. The service sucked, the beer tap was out and the food was not all that. It has no place being listed under fine dining in the entertainment book. This just goes to show, always follow your first thought. We would have been filling our plates with pasta and spicy sausages at Bucca di beppo if the husband hadn't insisted I go elsewhere. Alright, I'm done now. This is supposed to be a happy post. Despite all the issues, I had a blast. I got a chance to see almost everyone before we hit the road. I forget sometimes that I don't some of you very often. I also learned just how many of you don't read this blog. Shame, shame, shame (shaking my head). It was quite obvious when someone thought we weren't moving until MAY! Hello? Shaneva, what rock have you been living under? It's bad enough some of you were unfamiliar with the knitting couture line. Maybe I need to send out a quarterly newsletter. My girl Tamika bought me a really good drink that I can't remember the name of..... peachy smeechy something or another. That's too bad that I can't remember the drink, seeing that it was one of the only good things about the restaurant. Thank you to Ms. Otay for the gift card to my favorite store, Kanette for the cash (of course we spent it on gas), Carol Ann for the sweater, and to everyone else who ordered a scarf from me! Anyway, I think I will let the pictures speak for themselves. If any of you have more pictures of that night please email me so I can post them here. Next year ladies Melissa suggested we go to Emeril's place here in the "V". So start making your plans now.
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So where are these pictures you ask. Well I can't find the cord to connect the camera to the computer. So I will post them soon.......I think.
***********************UPDATE*************************************
So I still havn't found the camera cord but I did find pictures of last years birthday soiree. Since the gust list is almost exactly the same I figured I would put those pictures up. Even though none of us including me were knocked up this year. Thank goodness.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Ready or Not


So it's the New year and everyone expects you to make some type of resolution. Be it lose weight, quit smoking, go back to school, stop cheating on your spouse...blah blah blah. I guess the start of a new year always makes one think and take stock of their accomplishments from the previous year. You look back and say what the heck did I do with all that time? 52 weeks, 365 days! OMG did I do anything remotely worth remembering?
Never really seems like it does it.
Especially when you look at a newborn baby. In 2008 Shy will have learned to walk, talk, sit herself up, eat with a spoon, grow teeth and turn over from her back to her belly. That's a lot for one year and these are skills she will use for the rest of her life. That makes me think, what skill(s) will I learn this year and use over and over again.? What scares me more then anything I guess, is that I will look up one day soon and be 30 and not have accomplished anything important. I won't be anywhere near where I thought or planed or wanted to be. I use to say that I don't make resolutions per se. Even though when I quit smoking 2 years ago it was on New Years day. Rather, I make a few small goals for myself. Which really is just a horse of another color, I guess. I think what I will do this year is post my goals er..resolutions here for the whole world to see ( or just the 6 or so people that I know who read this blog). That way I feel a bit more accountable for them. And I want you to remind me of that and say: "Hey girlfriend, I thought you were going to do such and such....?" So here goes:

1. Stop making excuses. This way when you confront me on not sticking to this list, I won't be able to worm my way out of it.
2. Finish my Novel.
3. Write Something Everyday.
4. Send out 20 inquires for my writing.
5. Go Back to school. again.
6. Learn to Sew. with my cute new sewing machine.
7. Appreciate what I have more. This includes my husband and children.
8. Start freelancing and get something published somewhere.
9. Knit something out of my comfort zone. Like a dress or a tank top.
10. Read 50 books.
11. Let shit go.
12. Exercise more. I started doing yoga and power walking last year and really enjoyed it.
13. Join a critique group.
Well there it is. I will probably add a few more things to list and these items are in no particular order. They are all important in some way to me. If I fulfill these goals in 2008 then I won't look back at this time next year and wonder what the heck I did. Now it's your turn. What are you going to do for you this year? Go ahead put it out there for the whole universe to see. I promise it won't hurt.
Good Luck.