Put it on paper...

Somebody I barely remember asked someone else I used to know why I got married. The first time. My first response was none of their damn business. And it isn't. But it made me think why do people get married? Is marriage even necessary anymore?

Fifty years ago people got married because that's what you were supposed to do. If a girl was in the "family" way then the couple married. Under better circumstances a girl married after college or finishing school.

That was then, this is now. Plenty of people have children out of wed-lock. Some by choice others...not so much. Women have learned that they too can have a career and then have children with or without a husband. So why marry at all when it's almost mainstream not to?

Love. That's the first word that comes to mind. The fact that another person will forsake all others and pledge before God that they will love only you forever and ever. That's some heady shit. Sounds good too. Of course everyone wants that but do we have to marry to get it? Can't you just say those words to each other and go about your daily life without having to change your name or sign some papers? There are plenty of people in this country who have lived together for years and had better "unmarriages" then those who stand before God. I wonder why that is?
Take for example, celebrities Goldie Hawn and Kirk Russell, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon are all couples who have been together for a long time and don't look as though they will ever marry. Although, I can't say for sure cause I don't know them but they seem happy.

What about religion? Is that a main factor in people wanting to tie the knot? Do they feel if they don't then they will be damned to hell? Maybe.

There's always the whole cow and free milk scenario but let's face it, that milk has been free flowing for centuries.

What about security? What's yours is mine...If your spouse passes away you'll be taken care of right? That is as long as they have some sort of life insurance policy and a will. On the other hand if your spouse does something shady or illegal you can be held just as responsible for their actions, not so if you weren't married.

The words below are from the "Art of marriage". They're great words to live by and would arguably constitute a great foundation for a long and happy marriage. But on the flip side wouldn't it do the same for a long and happy "unmarriage"?

"The Art Of Marriage"by Wilferd A. Peterson
Compliments Of Erik & Beth Kent, Co-Publishers of NJWedding.comand founders of the Art of Marriage Foundation Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created.In the art of marriage the little things are the big things...

It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,it should continue through all the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.It is cultivating flexibility, patience,understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.
- by Wilferd Arlan Peterson (long version)

The point of the matter is this, I don't believe you have to get married to find your happily ever after but for me it has lead me there. Follow your heart not society's rule book.

And to answer the question: I got married for love. Both times. The difference between the first and the second is that this time I know what to do with it.