My thoughts...

• Grey's Anatomy and Brothers and Sisters both start this week, that makes me so happy!


• I apologize to my loyal 5 readers, I've been quite bitter these last few posts. Sorry.
  


• Warning, it my not be over just yet.


• My little fortune cookie from P.F. Chang's might have been right.


• Why isn't classmates.com out of business yet?The forecast says it's only going to be 91 next week, Fall must be here...lol


• Tuesday I had the most expensive burger I've ever eaten and it was worth it.


• My hand is itching.....


• Oktoberfest. Yum....


• I need a new phone. Tape is just not a good look.
  


• Thank you for being a friend.

Is It My Place?

There are few things in this world that I can boast about. I don't feel like I need to put on airs or display my feathers for all to see. Either you like me or you don't. Either way.....

What I can boast about is my JOB. Yes, my J-O-B. I work hard everyday and I am damn good at it. Every single day I wake up and my job starts instantly. From the moment I crawl out of bed and stumble into the kitchen to 3 am when someone wakes from a bad dream or wet sheets. It's hard, it's thankless and and it's mine. I love it with all my heart and know that this is what I was meant for. None of this is new and most Moms, especially the ones who do it solely without a side job as an attorney or doctor know that we are well underestimated.

Children take you for granted, husbands take you for granted and other women who have never raised a child think you just have it soooo easy. I get it. And unless you've been on this side you will never know. What amazes me are the women who have raised children. Those who had to struggle to get through each day when the baby that had a temp of 101 but they had to go to work anyway. The woman who did it without the help of a husband or grandmother. The same kind of woman who just simply wanted a break after 3 hours of a screaming newborn.

How can you look me straight in the eye and say that I need to get a real job?

What is it about my life that looks easy to you?

What part of raising productive citizens who make wise choices and succeed beyond any of our expectations isn't work?

A person who has never raised three children--three girls can't put themselves in my shoes. A person who was barely there for their own can't even look me in the face.

Everyone can't be me, so don't hate.

Who's Sleeping In Your Bed?

A marriage consists of two people. That's it. Unless your a member of the LDS church....

In a wedding ceremony two people vow to stay as one or so they say.

Those two people make love, make babies, make bills, make hate and make sacrifices for each other.

No one else should be involved. Especially not a parent. Certainly not a parent who has admitted that they were a shitty parent. If you had 18 years and 9 months to get it together but failed so many times on so many different levels. What on God's green earth gives you the right to run your mouth on someone who has put their children first since day one? None, absolutely none.

When you're on the outside looking in you only see a blurred vision of what is actually there. Only when you've opened the door, stepped inside and observed the entire house can you make careful observations.

The door is locked and you have not been invited in.

***pulls the curtain closed***

9-11-99

Today, my oldest turns 9.

Wow. I still can't believe it.

They weren't playing when they said Time Flies.....

The Girl Who Didn't Cry Uncle...

I think I've gone and bumped my head.

Most know, I am one of those people who bites off way more then can fit inside their mouths. Yet I still do it. Why? Good question, to bad I can't answer it. Maybe I have a fear of boredom.

Erica, I listened to your wisdom and has since dropped one of the classes....

But have replaced it with 3 new ideas for me to tackle.

I guess I'll never learn.

Lightning cuts the wild sky....Who are we?

As a mother of three I have witnessed my share of name-calling, bickering and immaturity. As a newbie into the culture of the “stay at home mommy club” I was, to say the least surprised that most of the culprits have been other mothers. Raising children is hard, that pretty much goes without saying, however, my personal feeling is that we make it so much harder then it has to be. We judge each other on how we feed, interact, teach and discipline them. Should I breast feed or use a bottle? When is the best time to start solid foods? Should I vaccinate my children? Is your way better then mine? These are all questions that run tirelessly through a new mothers head. There is so much information out there via television, news reports and parenting magazines telling us how to raise healthy, happy kids that it can feel somewhat overwhelming.

So you ask your fellow mommy at the park what type of parenting plan there on. This is where it can get ugly with the name calling and snarky remarks. One mother will believe that spanking is a necessary part of the discipline process and another will call it child abuse. Mommy number two will tell you the only way to give your kids proper nutrition is to breast feed until they’re five. While someone in the background will whisper how gross that is. Is spanking okay? Can I give my kid a bottle of Enfamil and know that she will be as smart as the rest of her class? Those questions can only be answered by the mother if at all. However, judging other mothers because they parent differently then you is not showing your own children how to treat a friend.

Believing that there is only one way to raise a child to become a productive citizen is a mistake. Maybe your way is better for you and my way is better for me and my children.
Everyone wants the best but the best isn’t being shown when we argue in front of our kids over who is better. We go out of our way to show our children how to share and use their manners but then turn around and become flippant with a mom who doesn’t see things our way. Support from our fellow mom is, in my biased opinion, the only way to raise children. As a community, mothers need to unite and educate each other so that all our children, whether cloth diapered or not can be the best they can be.

My Eyes were watching him

The first 2 minutes of this clip is the hottest love scene ever. That kiss...oh..my..God....help me jesus. Damn.

I think it's the way he looks at her, he never takes his eyes off her lips tounge mouth. She can't even close her eyes because she is so in love with this man and the way he touchs her.

You don't see black love scenes like this often so when one is made it should be shown over and over. Feel free to keep playing it...I know I have.

How Do You Want To Be Kissed?

If this isn't one of the sexiest love scenes ever, then I don't know what is...

The World's Only As Big As What You Know...

I seem to be on a roll with my random thoughts so I figure I'll just continue on. Some of these things are subjects I wanted to blog whole, long-winded posts about but just haven't had the time. I may go back and revisit later if I feel the need. In the meantime...

• In this state of reflection that I am currently in I have wondered how almost this entire year has gone by and I still feel like I have accomplished very little. I need to reassess my new years goals and get a serious fire lit under my ass.


• My dear friend Erica got bit by a Cobra! She is fine but dang a COBRA.


• Since I'm on the subject of Erica, I would like to point out that in all her pictures--and there must be hundreds from her nearly 2 year commitment to the Peace corps, I fail to see more then one black person. This of course is not including the villagers because yes, she is in Africa. However, in terms of volunteers I don't see any black American men or women there to Help, Educate, Learn from, Explore, Shape, Love or Give back to our "Motherland". What's up with that? Maybe they were all assigned to a different village or to China....nah, I don't think so.


• My new favorite morning treat: Nonni's caramel latte biscotti....the best part of waking up, besides coffee.


• Kwame, Kwame, Kwame, you have made a mockery of yourself, your children, your Mother and Detroit.


• It's official. My family has become a 2 grocery cart family. I knew it was coming but jeez, it still amazes me.


• Luke Skywalker from 2-Live-Crew.....you know--oh me so horny, me love you long time. Yeah that one, he has his own reality show on VH1 now. Apparently, he's playing a father knows best type while running an "Urban adult entertainment" business....I don't know either, I assume that's like umm ghetto porn? Who knows, but I bet you still got that song stuck in your head.


• My new favorite reality show is 'Wipeout" on ABC. I'm not sure why but I think it's the extremely humorous banter between the commentators more then anything else. It's definitely NOT the butt cam.


• I'm a huge 'Grey's Anatomy' fan, HUGE. I even bought a real set of the 1st season DVD's. Since everyone knows I only rent and burn, that's a big friggin' deal. Anyhoo, Kathrine Heigl's Emmy controversy is extremely irritating. I agree that last season was a bit bland but I blame that on the writers strike and Issah Washington's uncalled for departure. For her to say she doesn't want to be in the running for an Emmy because she wasn't given quality material is a crock of crap. She doesn't need an Emmy because she sucks. Her character sucks and her funny tooth sucks. Don't get me wrong, I don't think she's a bad actor--I liked "Knocked Up". But I almost didn't see it because of the snotty aire about her. I think that she's getting a little too big for her britches and needs to honor her contract and be grateful she has a job. We've seen it before, people get a few hit movies under there belt and demand to be let out of their contract and BAM! they fall flat on their face and can't get a job shakin' their ass let alone a major movie role. Heigl needs to realize she isn't Will Smith.


• I need a million dollars.


• I really, really want a fish pedicure.


• I swear my kids grow over night. One minute they look like babies the next like little people.


• Why do we constantly compare ourselves to other people? Always thinking we don't measure up...


• I'm really wondering how I teach my girls how to avoid the "magicians" in life. I know they will get their heart broken and it's necessary, but some of these men....they got the game on lock.


• Why is it so hard to get men to do things? Then, when you stop asking they want to know why you didn't ask them if they wanted to go...


• The Olympics start tonight! I got 17 days to finish the sweater and throw for the Ravelympics!


• "Nothing stands out so conspicuously, or so remains so firmly fixed in the memory, as something which you have blundered"--CICERO

Don't Quote Me

I've gotten bored with blogging, if you haven't noticed...I don't know what it is but my groove is way off. It isn't that I haven't had anything to say, I just haven't felt like saying it. I know I've needed a blogcation but I also know I can't be gone too long. I've been told that I'm on the clock....

So, I'm following the lead of others and posting some random ish today...

• I love the Summer Olympics. It always reminds me of being that little girl again, dreaming of being a gymnast, swimmer, track star...


• I'm so glad I moved to Vegas, change is so good for the soul


• Miley Cyrus has nothing on these girls


• Why do some people waste so much oxygen


• I love that Angelina and Brad can raise 14 million for charity from a set of baby pictures


• This type of YA makes me feel old and out of touch.


• I am longing for a day when I can sit down and watch the complete first season of Mad Men...


• I'm going to take the plunge, I've decided to get my first Brazilian wax...but someone will have to hold my hand, probably my legs too!


• I spent yesterday afternoon browsing the craft stores so I can become the next black Martha Stewart. I swear if I had the means I would make so much stuff.


• I think I'm going to home school my kids. But I will work twice as hard to make them look like they're not...


• I hate it when doctors office's send out letters saying "Your results are in...it is imperative that you make an appointment at your earliest convenience." WTF just call me and tell me what's wrong with me.


• Empty promises are just that.


• You ever really want to know what someones voice sounds like?

A Cooler Spot on the Pillow

I’m 28 years old. This means I was born in the 80’s, a time when women were trying to break through that glass ceiling. These women were forgoing kids and marriage for power suites and corner offices. They wanted to be seen as equals and taken seriously on Wall Street. I remember watching “Baby Boom” the movie with Diane Keaton she was a powerhouse, a force to be reckoned with. Remember she always wore the same really-bland-conservative-grey suite, so as not to accentuate the fact that she had breasts and hips? Working 60 even 80 hours a week just so she could be looked at, not as a women, but an invaluable executive.

I WANTED TO BE HER.

That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? That’s why they burned their bras in the 60’s and fought for the freedom of choice and birth control in the 70’s? It was told to us both subliminally and with stentorophonic urgency that we don’t need a man. We could depend on ourselves and do it just as good if not better then a man.

In Junior high school if any one asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I said either a corporate attorney or a best-selling author. I never said I want to be a housewife or a stay-at-home Mommy. Who wants to do that? That’s not an admirable occupation; you can’t possibly use your brain staying home eating bon bons and clipping coupons all day. That kind of woman is only going to pull us 10 steps back, back to a time where women donned aprons and had dinner ready and a highball glass of Maker’s Mark waiting for her man.

I AM THAT WOMAN

Well sort of. I don’t wear an apron; I prefer to just wipe my hands on my low-rise jeans. I clip coupons but I have the majority of them emailed to me. I do not eat bon bons. I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen one to be perfectly honest. I do try to have dinner ready and waiting but I’m more likely to drink that highball of whisky (with sour mix) then have one waiting. Besides he likes Bacardi anyway. Still, the fact of the matter is, I love it. I love being at home with my kids. I love being able to run my household and know, emphatically, that no one else can do my job. I can’t be replaced, demoted or terminated.

I guess to the outside world it does look a little trivial when I rattle off my schedule for any given week.


Monday is dance and swimming lessons.
Tuesday we have a play date at the park.
Wednesday is movie day and library story time.
Thursday is another play date with my knitting group.
Friday is family day.
Saturday is craft day and another trip to the library.
Sunday is church and other activities with church friends such as feeding the homeless.



Of course I didn’t include grocery shopping, PTA meetings laundry, vacuuming, mopping, blogging, and all my other motherly duties. You can’t tell me all of that isn’t work that requires brain power. It takes savvy to even find activities for your kids that are fun, educational and affordable.



That’s not the point and this isn’t one of those manifestos declaring that homemakers do just as much and deserve the same respect and admiration as Sandra Day O’Conner. I don’t really care if some think my life is simple or easy. If they think I sit around all day watching soaps and painting my toes then so be it. I don’t have to justify my life choices to anyone.



As a matter of fact, my career path has surprised me just as much as it surprises anyone else my age who asks what I “do”. How an 80’s baby could become a retro mama is a mystery to me. Let’s not forget I’m a black woman, which means I’m really supposed to be out there showing them what I’m made of. Not home scrapbooking shots of the baby using her “big-girl” cup and knitting a cable throw to match my newly decorated master bedroom.

I know I’m not the only one my age who is in the same position. Wondering how we got here when most of our mothers weren’t homemakers. Just as sure as I am that there are women out there who would love to be in my shoes.

Next week: “The Rocky Road to being a Dependent Woman”

Picture credits to: http://www.stitchthrutime.com/

ROSE ROYCE Love Don't Live Here Anymore

Original...circa 1976

Love Don't Live Here Anymore-Madonna

Circa...1984

The Life of a Writer

So I know some of you have noticed I've been MIA for the past week or more. I have been covering the CineVegas film festival here in Valley. It was my first year to attend and I wanted to soak up as much of the atmosphere as humanly possible. I'm posting some of the pictures today because people have asked me about them. I will talk more about the events and post more pictures in a later post.

The Premiere of "The Rocker" actor Rainn Wilson

on Thursday, June 12

Actor Bill Pullman and Robin Leech at the Premiere of "Your Name Here"

Friday, June 13

Me and Rosario Dawson right after the premiere of "Explicit Ills", photo taken by Shamar Moore.
Saturday, June 21

Me and Shamar Moore in the Palms Casino.

about 5 minutes later...

Me and Elvis Mitchell just before the premiere of "The Great Buck Howard" Saturday, June 21

A view of The Palazzo Resort from the party at the pool on the 3rd floor.

The entrance of the closing night party, model Ms. Kimberly in a 9 ft tall Champagne glass.

The contortionist in the bubble at the Palazzo Resort.

Happy Father's Day!

Silver or Gold, which is which?

There are two versions of a great song below, who do you think did it better?

I first heard this song years and years ago. I loved it, from the first cord. It to me, says how hard it is to let go of the one you loved the most, yet not be bitter.

I didn't personally care for India's version when I first heard it but it's growing on me. I think I still prefer Don's version, maybe because of his voice, which I love.

Or, it could just be that a man saying those words--just means something more.

You almost expect a woman to be able to come to these conclusions but to hear a man say:

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old, true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck, and the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are those voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment and beg for something more?
I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined...people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition
Cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us doesn't keep me warm
I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I'd figured out
I have to learn again
I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
But everything changes and my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carryin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside
I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak and the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me

Don Henley - Heart of the Matter

The original....Circa 1980's I think :)

Sex And The City Soundtrack - The Heart Of The Matter

India Arie's Version.....2008

You are free, you just don't know it yet.

Anyone remember the saying:

'Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part'?

My old hair dresser back in the day used to have that sign hanging in her basement shop. She was very strict on late appointments and frequent call offs.That was a long, long time ago but I sincerely believe that those words still ring true today. So where are you going with this, you may ask.

This year, marks my tenth year out of high school. It truly doesn't feel like it's been that long. Some days, I still feel very much like a child, albeit, a child with a hell of a lot of bills and 3 children herself. I watch Degrassi and Instant Star and can totally relate to some of the story lines. The point is I don't feel like ten years has gone by since I walked the halls to French class or to Ms. Battle's college writing classes. I'm kind of getting off subject a bit..Sorry.

So, I heard through the grapevine that a group of girls (that hung out together in high school) appointed themselves as head of the reunion committee. They didn't invite anyone with experience or the know how to join the aforementioned committee. Surprise, surprise.

Planing a party of this size takes months and months of organized planing. It takes experience and dedication but most of all it takes someone who can think outside of their own small world. The people who tried to put on my class reunion obviously had none of those things.

When you wait until November to send out an email blast stating that we need to send in a deposit for the reunion, even though you haven't given us any information on the when and the where, that constitutes a problem.

When you send out these emails with everyone of the addresses showing--instead of sending it bcc, that to me is problem. Everybody may not want everyone else to have their email information. It's just a professional courtesy.

I'm not sure if these girls are living in the same world that I am but gas is $4.17 here, and the price of plane tickets and car rentals are though the roof. In other words we a living in a recession, and people don't have hundreds of dollars to spend just to go to a high school reunion.

Communication is key, you can't accomplish anything when person 'A' thinks person 'B' is doing something and person 'C' thought they were supposed to do it, but in actuality 'D' did it because her heard from 'B' that 'C' didn't know how to do it. Confused? Yeah me too. That's all I saw in this short lived attempt to put together an over the top extravaganza.

By the time an itinerary did come out, they scheduled something for Friday night in one city, a cruise Saturday night in another and then close it up with another event on Sunday. All fine and dandy if you still live in the area, or have family in the area. I don't. so that means on top of buying plane tickets and event tickets I would have had to rent a car and get a hotel room. Plus, remember I have three kids...where are they going to go? A babysitter, or on the trip with us? I added up the total amount I would have had to spend and let's just say it was over a thousand dollars! I could go to Cancun or Disneyland and spend less then that.

There are plenty of alternatives I could have suggested. Like, have a BBQ at one of the hundreds of lakes in the area. Rent a VFW hall and have a cabaret type of event. Or, just have done one of the events originally planned. If the purpose of a reunion is to see everyone and catch up on old times, then all that extra wasn't necessary in the first place. I find it quite comical that one of the more affluent high schools near my Alma mater is doing a simple picnic, charging $10 or so per person. A school where I personally know that some of the graduates are doctors and lawyers and engineers.....Now, I'm not saying my class doesn't have any of those but...

To be honest, even if I still lived in the area I probably wouldn't go to the reunion. I've kept in touch with all my friends from high school. Everyone I care about--what their doing, how they are or what's going on their world...I can pick up the phone and just call. They know where I am, what I'm up to etc...because they are my friends. What's funny is none of them had planned to attend the reunion either.

So, the other day I hear through the grapevine that the reunion is cancelled. Due to lack class support....humm

Another quote comes to mind "Champagne plans on a Boone's Farm budget."

And now it begins...I will suduce you, with ink

One Segment I thought I would try is "Who did it best?" I will post two songs weekly and you tell me which is better....in your opinion.

I usually have a problem with remakes or covers but sometimes--sometimes, someone else comes along and does what the original artist just couldn't do.

The first post is below, The Queen Latifah-vs-The Rev. Al Green.

I will say this is one of my favorites of all time. Simply Beautiful.